What's the deal, man?

The deal, man, is this:  About 4 weeks ago I got a big spider bite on the back my leg, also known as the upper thigh.

This is what happened.   It was a Friday afternoon and I had gotten off work a little early.  Which is extremely typical in the oil business.   We were having Chelsea and Stephen Morris over for dinner and their pointer puppy Reese.   You see their pointer puppy is a 7th generation bird dog who comes from a long line of award winners.    This was a big deal you see because our mutt pointer puppy also wants to be a bird dog and I wanted both dogs to fetch stuffed birds out of the pond.

 I went to petsmart and bought two stuffed chickens suitable for water fetching.  I also bought some mosquito fogger at HEB because it is like the swamp land out in Magnolia right now and I knew if we wanted to spend anytime outside I needed to fog for mosquitoes.

Picture me in a purple sundress with a dish towel wrapped around my face fogging for mosquitoes around the pond.     I had full make up on and curled hair.    While I was fogging I was also picking up a few dog toys out in the front yard.   I picked up G's A&M Frisbee and found about 10 brown spiders underneath.   Normal people would be afraid and run away, but apparently I am not normal.    I absolutely HATE snakes, frogs, and lizards.    Spiders and bugs don't bother me too much, so I just sprayed them with the bug killer and stepped on a few with my Steve Madden sandal and moved on.

Apparently I messed with the wrong spiders because they decided to mess with me.     The scary thing about spiders is you do not know when they bite you.    When I got undressed for bed that night I noticed this huge whelp on the back of my leg, and I thought to myself man those mosquitoes are getting bigger by the year.    Thankfully I rubbed some tea tree oil on the back of my leg which I really think helped it from not taking over my entire leg.

The next morning Chris and I got up about 7:45 in the morning because I wanted to run.    I put on my running clothes and went down stairs to find Chris drinking coffee and having his quiet time.   By this time the back of my leg was hurting pretty badly and I had about a 5 inch by 3 inch bright red hard whelp which was surround by a massive pink circle that encompassed the entire back of my leg.

STILL I was unfazed.    I showed Chris, "Look, honey, at the back of my leg.   Don't you think that is cool?   Ok, I am going to go running now."

Chris:"What do you think happened, dear? "

Jess: "Well, it must be a spider bite.   I saw some brown spiders yesterday and I stepped on a couple and sprayed them with mosquito fogger.   I am going to go running now."

Chris: "Please go get in the car we are going to the emergency room."

Jess: "I really don't think that is necessary.  I will just rub some benadryl on it, and it will be fine.   I am going to go running now."

Chris: "Do you know what a brown recluse looks like?"

Jess: "No, I have never heard of one.  I am going to go running now".

Chris: "GET IN THE CAR."

Jess: "I have not had any coffee yet, we cannot go to the emergency room."

Chris calls his Dad and my Mom and determines that he is going to take me to my Dad's doctor in Tomball who happens to take walk-ins on Saturday morning.   Chris puts me in the car with my pink Nike mug full of coffee.

Jess:  "I am just going to go running real quick and then you can take me to all the emergency rooms you want to."

Chris's Dad had just sent him an email about brown recluses, so Chris was majorly concerned that I had got bitten by a big bad spider.   But he would not tell me what brown recluses did to you so I was completely clueless and was unconcerned.

We get to the doctor in Tomball and they take one look at my leg, which is throbbing and hurting really bad by this time, and send me straight back to see the doctor.

The doctor comes in and takes a good look at my upper thigh and says ....

Doctor: "If you had waited until Monday I would have had to put you in the hospital."

Jess: Blank Stare

Doctor: "You do not need surgery.   You do not need to get anything cut out.  You do not need to get anything drained.  But it looks at though you have a massive infection on the back of your leg.   We will never know what kind of spider bit you, although it does not look like a brown recluse because you still have the flesh on that back on your leg."

Jess: "Brown recluses take the flesh of your leg?"

Chris:  breathing deep sighs of relief and texting all family members and friends who are worried.

Doctor: "So I am going to give you two massive antibiotics, hydrocodine, and two ointments.  If your leg is still red on Monday then I will have to admit you to the hospital to put you on a drip."

Jess: "I hate antibiotics.  Is it absolutely necessary for me to take those?"

Doctor: "Well spiders tend to have nasty things in their mouth which apparently this spider transferred to you.    You are either fighting strep or staff, so it is really important that we kill the infection."

At this point I realized that this spider bite was a big deal and conceded that I would take the antibiotics.

Chris sweetly takes me to CVS and gets my prescriptions, then he takes me to the organic farmers market in Tomball, and then gets me Chick Fil A.  

I go home and take the antibiotics.   The antibiotics make me feel SO bad that all I can do is lay on the couch.    I could not work the first 3 days of that week and could only work half days the last two days of the week.   It was SUPER terrible.    But the antibiotics worked and the back of my leg is totally fine.


Needless to say the spider bite threw me off my game and blogging became the last thing that needed to be done.    So please forgive me.   I promise to catch y'all up on everything we have been doing these last few weeks.