The Missing Pill Debacle a.k.a. Funny Marriage Story

So, lest you should think that we would ask you for your requests and not pull through, I would like to share with you all a funny marriage story. (Per one of our reader's requests...Please keep these coming, BTW.)

Well, as any couple who has been married for any amount of time will tell you, some of the things that at the time are the most frustrating and angry situations are the ones that you laugh about the most later...Here begins our story.

Here's how it all went down. Before the wedding, Jess was taking her Birth Control (here after referred to as BC) at 9 a.m. The only problem was that it was making her really sick to her stomach. So, beginning on our honeymoon we began moving it back by 1-2 hrs everyday so that we could take it at 9 p.m. when her tummy had more food in it. (Yes, taking the BC in our family is a group effort accompanied by the alarm on Jess's phone that goes off every night at 9.)

Now, when you 1st get married (at least for us anyway) you are mildly terrified at the thought of getting pregnant before you "decide" to. (Let's be honest, the decision belongs to Jesus. This family will have kids at any time He so desires. None the less, I'll continue describing our "Newlywed" train of thought.) You are terrified for a number of reasons. Sleepless nights. Feedings. Diapers. Expensive. OH, AND LET'S TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE MARRIED TOO, RIGHT? Being married is a huge adjustment! It's not so much that you're afraid of having kids, it's that you realize that once you start there's no going back. It's a humongous sacrifice, the magnitude of which we don't really understand yet. 2 weeks into your marriage, let's be honest, you're a heck of a lot more interested in practicing making kids than actually making kids. :)

So, back to the BC taking time adjustment. So every night, Jess progressively sets her BC alarm back 1 hr. 5 a.m., 4 a.m., 3 a.m....By the time our little story occurs we are on the 2 a.m. wake up call. The BC alarm goes off like normal. I roll over and in 2 seconds am 80% asleep again. Jess pops open her little case (you marrieds know what I'm talking about.), locates the appropriate slot in the dark, pushes the pill out into her hand and proceeds to toss it into her mouth.

PAUSE

These freaking pills are tiny. Why? Why are they so small? 3/16ths of an inch? Really? They're kind of important you know. Couldn't you put filler in there and at least make them half the size of an Advil? And the color! What are these people thinking? They are tan. They blend in with everything. Our carpet in our first apartment was also tan...

UnPAUSE

The only problem is, the pill never made it into her mouth. Who knows if it even made it into her hand. Only the Lord. Fact of the matter is, she realizes it, pops on the light, and proceeds into mass hysteria. The dreaded "big light" comes on. (I try to stay in my sleepy place to no avail.) Crying ensues as the sneaky, little pill continues to elude my wife in its little hiding place on the carpet.

By this point, Jess is on her hands and knees on the floor next to the bed trying to find the pill through a wall of tears. "Don't you know that we can get pregnant from missing a pill?" She asks through tears and hysterics as I try to console her that everything will be ok (Admittedly from the bed). I finally get up and start meandering around trying to help. I'm totally out of it. All I seem to be capable of thinking or saying is, "It will all be ok."

More crawling. More crying.

[ This is Jess - After fifteen minutes of looking a not finding anything I finally go to the restroom and just asked God to help me find it. I calmed down and walked back into the bedroom and the pill is lying next to the bed in front of the nightstand in plain sight. Praise Jesus ].

2:20 rolls around. Pill has finally been located and inhaled. I'm now totally awake, as is Jess. She is finally at peace as we have now found the pill. 20 minutes of sheer terror for my poor wife, all because this stupid little pill decided to make a run for it. Needless to say, throughout the remainder of the process, the light always came on to take her pill.

We woke up the next morning and laughed hysterically, and we still laugh about the Missing Pill Debacle from time to time. Keep the requests coming. We like to tell about life - and the comedy and crying that ensues from living it.

-Mr. Hill