Thou Mayest

Remember this past summer when I decided to read East of Eden by John Steinbeck?

Several of our friends LOVE this book.  It took me about two months to read this book because it is dense, man!  It is jammed packed full of humanity making good and bad decisions and all the suspense that goes a long with that.

Once I finished the book I could not figure out why so many people loved the book.   It was sad.  It made people look sad.   It had that whole Lord of the Flies thing happening where you finished the book questioning if you were inherently evil or inherently good.  

The entire point of the book just straight up hit me in the face several months after I finished reading it.

The point is this:  In the book Lee discusses the verse in Genesis where God is responding to Cain after God rejects his sacrifice but accepts Able's.  Genesis 4:6-7  So the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? ⁷ If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”    


Steinbeck figures out, after talking to some Jewish Rabbi, the Hebrew meaning for the word "should".  The word is timshel and basically means "thou mayest".   The last phrase in verse 7 means "thou mayest rule over it".   Steinbeck implies in the book that this verse in Genesis means we have free will choice over sin - even though sins desire is for us.

[ Please make note this is Steinbeck's rendering of a Jewish Rabbi's understanding of Hebrew ]

Nevertheless, the point Steinbeck is making is awesome and terrible at the same time.   God gave us free will to either choose good or choose evil.   Which means when we stand before God one day we will be judged for the CHOICES we make.   We will not be judged for the choices other people make or how their choices affected us.   We will be judged for how we CHOOSE to react to the CHOICES other people make.

You might be wondering why this applicable to my life right now?  It is always applicable to my life at every moment, but I have been considering it more this morning.   Do you remember me telling you that when I was a freshman in college that God spoke the words Vulnerably Dependent to me?   I have come to realize that vulnerably dependent means that you choose to be dependent on God and not on yourself or other people.   In theory this makes a lot of sense and in practice this a very hard thing to do.

I think God takes us through various levels of dependence on Him as we grow to trust Him more.   Meaning that one person's dependence on God can look very different from another person's dependence on God at any given time.

This past weekend I was talking to one of my single girlfriends who bravely came to the Lone Star Marina's Christmas party called Sausage Fest.   We make Sausage.  At this party it is safe to say that about 98% of the people are married, engaged, or seriously dating.   So my friend coming and enjoying herself is a big deal.   One of the first things I learned to do after God started speaking to me about being Vulnerably Dependent was to fall completely in love with Him.   Instead of freaking out about fearing that I would never get married, or getting over some boy, or dating some boy - God let me choose to fall head over heels in love with Him.   In doing so I learned to trust God with all the desires of my heart regarding marriage.

I told my friend that this is the secret to finding the person that God has for you.   I told her that the most attractive thing you can do is to choose to fall in love with Jesus, and that as you do that a beauty will be released in you that is unparalleled on this earth.  

These days my version of being Vulnerably Dependent is trusting that God will qualify me to do what He is calling me to do.   God has called me to write.  I am pretty sure it is safe to say that nothing has ever terrified me more than being calling to write.   In learning to be dependent on God in this area of my life I am learning what true humility really looks like.   Without Jesus speaking through me my words really and truly do not mean that much.

I am trying to tell you this morning that I am in one of those moments between choices.   I am either going to choose to obey God and sit down at my computer and allow him to write through me, or I am going to figure out every single other way to fill my time and never find time to write.

I want to choose to write.  I just have to decide that I will no matter what I feel like doing.  It is my choice and I want to steward my free will to the best of my ability.

What choices are facing you today?  Do you trust God enough to choose the best choice He has for you?