Rocket Science and the Art of Cleaning

My little business that I co-own with my soon-to-be sister in law Mikala, or Mikaykay, has taught me something about cleaning.

You see we teach people how to eat healthy, which often involves meal planning.   Unfortunately there is no secret key to getting healthy meals on your table.  It takes discipline, determination, a little strategy.  and eventually it becomes a habit.

BUT --- I have been waiting for this secret key to having a clean house, and of course I have not yet found it.  I would clean and then it would get messy again.   I kept thinking that somehow I would figure out the secret that clean people magically have and I too could boast of organization and cleanliness.

Recently while discussing with someone that meal planning is simply something that you must sit down and do I realized that this also applies to cleaning.

It was like I was Einstein who had just discovered a new law of physics.  

YOU MUST CLEAN ALL THE TIME, AND YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO JUST DO IT?

WHY???????

Going Home

This past weekend I helped throw a baby shower in College Station, and Chris had a trip planned with our group of friends to go to a hog wrestling tournament in Sabinal, Tx.  

Friday night I packed up the envoy with the puppy, my hair dryer, and a little mexican food from Escalantes and we headed to Magnolia.   Magnolia is the home of the barn, our previous home, and my parents house.   Christmas was the last time I had spent the night at my parents house, so I figured it was a good time to visit.

I got to my parents house well after dinner, so I brought my fajita salad in and sat at my parents huge kitchen table .  My mom and my soon to be sister in law sat with me as I ate.  My Dad and brothers sauntered in and out, and Giada got to play with her cousin Jack The Great Dane.  

Instead of staying in "my room" I stayed in the guest bedroom.  My mom had put clean sheets on the bed and had everything all prepared for me.

Growing up you have no idea how wonderful this is, but after having your own guest bedroom you understand what a wonderful treat it is to not have to pur your own sheets on the bed.

Saturday was whirlwind of errands and activity as me and my Mom prepared for the baby shower in College Station.   We got home late Saturday night and sat on the couch while my Dad made us both hot raspberry zinger tea.  

Saturday night I got to fully relax and enjoy being "home".   Sunday morning I slept late and woke up to my Dad making breakfast in the kitchen.   As I poured myself a cup of coffee I thought how wonderful it was to wake up to coffee and breakfast that I did not prepare for myself.    My entire family, with the exception of Chris who was very much missed, sat down for one of my Dad's famous breakfasts and had good conversation.  After breakfast my Mom and I went on a walk on the three mile loop in High Meadow Ranch.   Walking is my love language, so when people go on walks with me I feel really loved.

It was such a treat to be home.   After growing up and having a house of my own I felt totally pampered at my parents house.   Which is funny because I got that treatment for 18 years thinking it was totally normal and having no idea how much our parents did for us.  It was just good to go home and hang out with my family, so good I felt like I needed to blog about it.   My Dad's breakfasts have a tendency to do that to people :)

Landscaping

A week ago today my big, strapping, muscle bound husband ripped up all the horrible and terrible shrubs out of my front yard.   He hacked, sawed, and dug until those ugly shrubs were ripped up out of the ground, roots and all.   I raked leaves and filled expensive, Houston required, recyclable trash bags with the debris from my husband's work.   Truly, I did not help much but at least I wanted to look like I was trying as he was using all his force to prep my flower beds for spring.   While my flowers beds are still in the transitional phase I know that soon they will be beautiful thanks to my handsome husband.

My friend Liz describes this process perfectly on her blog A Little Peace of Home.   

Remember the post where I talked about wanting to get comfortable being uncomfortable?   Ever since I wrote that post I have been waiting on God to give me huge opportunities to start to grow.   I expected Him to start revealing himself to me in new ways, and that my entire life would start to take shape and be different.  Instead it has been "all quiet on the western front" as I have tried to have quiet times and seek Him.   

It was not until this morning that I realized that my heart needed some "landscaping" of its own to be done by my big, strapping, muscle bound Jesus.   I just gave up this morning and got down on my knees during my quiet time.   G laid next to me and I laid my heart before God and told Him that I was not going to get up until He spoke something to my heart.  

Lately I have felt so distracted by all that I have to do, want to do, and hope to do that I in fact have done no doing at all.   This entire week I have badgered my husband with statements like "I feel worthless", "I need to know more of who I am in Jesus, and " I want to know if I am doing the right thing".

As I laid before Jesus this morning I realized that I have been like the person James talks about in chapter 1 verse 23 & 24 AMP "For if anyone only listens to the Word without obeying it and being a doer of it, he is like a man who looks carefully at his [own] face in a mirror; For he thoughtfully observes himself, and then goes off and promptly forgets what he was like".   

Can you say convicting?  Regarding my worth in Jesus and and here on this earth I have been like "a man of two minds (hesitating, dubious, irresolute) , [he is] unstable and unreliable and uncertain about everything [he thinks, feels, decides]. James 1:8 AMP   As I said in the previous blog post since I graduated college I have been caught between living life comfortably and uncomfortably.   I have been like "one who wavers (hesitates, doubting) like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind".James 1:6b AMP.  I have heard God speak to me about who I am in Him and what He has planned for me to do, but in doubt I have just listened and have done nothing.

I repented this morning.  I asked God to change my thinking.   I told Him that His ways are above my ways, that His thoughts are above my thoughts, and the His will is above my will.   

"In simple humility, let our Gardner, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life." James 1:21b MSG

God also convicted me about not trusting Him about our future.   This shows how comfortable I have gotten because my entire life has been based on me having supernatural faith in God regarding anything I have ever done or received.  My faith had nothing to do with me being supernatural, but it had everything to do with the fact that I have always believed that God's way was the only way I could ever do anything.   I laid my desire to secure my future before God and decided to trust Him for today and tomorrow.   I believe as you grow up you think it is the responsible thing to do to worry about the future and try to scratch out some form of security for yourself.   While planning is always wise, worrying is definitely not.   

"And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the span of his life? And why should you be anxious about clothes? Consider the lilies of the field and learn thoroughly how they grow; they neither toil nor spin.  Yes I tell you, even Solomon in all his magnificence was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and green and tomorrow is tossed into the furnace, will He not much more surely clothe you, O you of little faith?  Therefore do no worry and be anxious saying What are we going to eat? or, What are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear? For the heathen wish for and crave and diligently seek all these things, and your heavenly Father know well that you need them all.  But seek first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing things and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.  So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own.  Sufficient for each day is its own trouble."  Matt 6:27-34 AMP

I share these things with you this morning because I am so guilty of letting God landscape me, and then after He has planted me with a beautiful garden of flowers then sharing with you how the process went.  Instead today I have invited you into the process.   Like my own front yard I am in the transitional phase, not yet planted just uprooted and bare.   

My prayer for myself this morning is this:

"But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God-the free life! -even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action.  That person will find delight and affirmation in the action."  James 1:25 MSG

[ AMP = The Amplified Bible.  MSG = The Message Bible ]

I just want to be comfortable ... but I also want to grow.

This is part of an email I wrote to one of my besties Kelley Ellis .

I simply wanted to share it with you because you are my bloggie readers, and I must redeem myself from my Bieber Fever declaration.    Actually I want to share it with you because hopefully you can watch me grow.  I know that Jesus always answers these kinds of prayers, and I so I want to give him the opportunity to get the glory.

***************

Last night Sheridan and I had the first Campaigners with our freshman girls.  It has been over 3 years since I have lead or attended a bible study or a physical accountability group where we discussed the word.   Although we only had a few girls and our conversation was skin deep at best, my heart strings were tugged and God started speaking.

I realized this morning that since I graduated college I have wanted to live life comfortably.  What I mean by that is that I have not wanted to stretch myself too much, and I most certainly did not want God to stretch me too much.  While I have gone through a ton of growing experiences over the past 3 years and am now a better person.  I have held God at arms reach in certain areas of my life.  Areas that over the last year He has slowly been revealing to me.   Buying this house was an area that grew and stretched beyond what I thought I could handle, and yet here we are completely provided for.  I realized last fall that I was not allowing God to grow me into what he was and is calling me to do regarding a job / making a living.   When I graduated college I basically had a huge list of things that I told God I would NEVER do.  I essentially completely opposed Him from doing what He wanted to do in my life.  This particular realization has come into view over that past six to eight months.  Starting Kitchen Sisters is definitely a result of me allowing God to move me, and yet I still fear that I have not completely given up control in this area. Honestly, me not submitting completely to Jesus scares me way more than submitting to Him.  Yet, I still struggle to submit and give up control completely.

This morning came a whole new scenario where God showed me that I have been holding him back from doing what He wants to in life.   I realized that I have held back the areas of being planted in our church, attending a bible study, or even being mentored by a wiser woman.  Simply because I wanted to be comfortable.  I realize that not having too many commitments early on in marriage is a good thing, but I believe I went from focusing on building my marriage to protecting myself from uncomfortable situations.  My heart was flooded with emotion this morning by the desire to be surrounded by Godly women who want to speak the word into my life.  My desire to be part of a bible study suddenly appeared at the forefront of my thoughts.  Not my desire to lead a bible study but simply the desire to be a part of one.  The desire to be poured into.  A hunger for Jesus that I have not had in a long time because I so wanted to be comfortable.

I am writing all these things to you because I want your prayer.   I want and need fellowship in Jesus.  I want to learn and grow and I want to be ok with being uncomfortable.  

*************

I leave you with this

Sometimes G likes to wear hangers as necklaces 

The Bieber Fever

I admit I went and saw Never Say Never this past weekend with my friend Hillary.

I admit that after I got home from the movie that I downloaded Justin Bieber songs off of iTunes.

I admit that the movie and songs are both really awesome.

I admit that I have the fever.

The Bieber Fever.

I am not ashamed.

Valentines - A Day or Two late

What do I love about my Valentine -- the one and only hot Mr. Hill?

I love that every single year since we started dating he has always made Valentines day special.   I have never made a big deal of valentines day, but since Mr. Hill has been in my life he always has.  

This year he surprised me with a weekend stay at the St. Regis hotel in Houston.   We love to get away and stay in hotels.  It is like a little mini escape from the world where the two of you can just focus on each other without the distractions of life.

Friday night we decided to get pizza from Fuzzy's and check into the hotel and watch a movie.  You better believe that we valet parked and got out of the car with a 16 inch pizza, and then proceeded to go into the lobby carrying the box.   We walked up to the concierge who seemed a little surprised and amused at our audacity to carry in carry out pizza into the St. Regis.    It was fun, perfect, and completely us.   Pizza is our splurge item of choice and resembles what is most romantic in the world.  Reminds me of the John Mayer song comfortable ......

Saturday we got up and had coffee at the local Starbucks and had a little Jesus time together.   We then ventured off for an early lunch at Central Market.   I had the most amazing salad with roasted asparagus,  crispy capers, artichokes, and black olive hummus dressing.

After our lunch had settled we headed over to memorial park to run off the pizza we ate the night before.  During college Chris injured his knee quite badly.  After several surgeries and lots of prayer Chris is now able to play basketball and run outside.   I realize that going to the park to run seems normal but this was a huge deal for us because literally this was the first time we have gone to the park together.  After several weeks of terrible weather Saturday ended up being perfect.   There was not a cloud in the sky and it was a wonderful 70 degrees outside.

After our run we did a little window shopping in the Montrose area and got a little frozen yogurt.   We returned to the hotel to get ready for our dinner and movie later on that night.   We went and saw the King's Speech at the River Oak theatre - it is probably one of the best movies that we have seen in a long time.  After the movie we had a late dinner at Michealangelos.   My Mimi and Papa took me to this restaurant growing up, so I have a lot of memories there.   It is an old italian place in Montrose that has a tree growing inside of it.  The food and service is perfect and the atmosphere is even better.   

The next day we slept in and Chris got up and got us coffee.  We had some more Jesus time together and then checked out of the hotel.   One of our friends told us about the Urban Market happening this past weekend, so Chris and I went and had a fun time getting inspiration for our house!

We then returned back to reality where we cleaned the house and did laundry.   

It was an absolutely perfect weekend!

The Black Hole of Need

[ This is part of something I wrote just before Christmas.   It is part of a message I like to call Vulnerably Dependent.   I just felt like this needed to be posted, so if it speaks to your heart that is awesome :) ]

One of the fears that keep us from abandoning ourselves fully to God is the fear that the work will be unendurable and the toiling will be too much.   We fear that our lives will lack joy and excitement when just the opposite is true.   Much of the church today speaks of a mundane and an unexciting life while the world lures us into a lie that it will provide the real destiny adventures that we so long for.  It is a trap set by the enemy to keep us wrapped in the safety of the mundane while constantly searching for the adventure God destined us to have. The unending search creates a loop of dissatisfaction and frustration that propels us into what I call the black hole of need.  A black hole of need that can only be filled by God, but because of the lies of the enemy we try and fill it with everything but Him.   

1 John 15-17 The MSG

Don’t love the world’s ways.  Don’t love the world’s good.  Love of the world squeezes out love for the father.  Practically everything that goes on in the world – wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important – has nothing to do with the Father.  It just isolates you from him.   The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out – but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.   

The black hole is a very interesting phenomenon that if allowed tries to become part of our very nature.   The really scary thing about the black hole is that it is just as rampant among non-Christians as it is among Christians.  The black hole tries to tell us that its needs are part of our personality. It interweaves lies into our daily life telling us that when we are stressed we must eat something, buy something, or do something.  When we are sad it tells us how to act and what to immerse ourselves in.  When we are happy it dictates to us how we express happiness.  In the end the black hole of need develops in our lives idols that steal our attention away from God.  If we all truly think about it there are things in our life that we always turn to before we turn to God. There are things in our life that you may be secretly holding on to tighter than God.

It is very uncomfortable to think about. That we modern day Christians would have many idols in our life.  The worldliness in us justifies many of them by telling us that it is responsible, smart, or even normal to hold certain things in such high places in our life. That justification veils our eyes to the truth. 

At this very point you may start feeling like I am trying to condemn you and your behavior, and that really there is no chance of living correctly. These are the lies of the spirit of legalism that seek to destroy even further what God really desires to be in our life. You see the truth is that God desires to be first in every area of your life because He does not want you to live under the burden of making your life mean something.   He does not want you to carry the responsibility of what He has called you to.    Most importantly He wants to experience intimacy with you on levels far beyond what you can imagine, all the time.  God does not want you to be a slave to your cravings, desires, lusts, wants, and needs.   God wants to be your provider, protector, and deliverer.  God wants to give you the desires of your heart.

At the heart of Vulnerably Dependent is the truth that if we allow certain areas of our life to be held higher than Jesus is in our life, then we simply are not living in the blessing or protection of God.   Those areas are automatically open to the enemy to do as he pleases.   It is when we put our hope in these areas, things, people, and dreams where true heartbreak and devastation come in.   A life dependent on God is not void of certain troubles, but the difference is when your heart is all His then He always protects and provides for it.

What seems to be the biggest risk of all, abandoning our selves completely to God, is really what secures us in the safest and most blessed place of all.

In Colossians 1:5-6 in the Message Paul says: “The Message is as true among you today as when you first heard it.  It doesn’t diminish or weaken over time.  It’s the same all over the world.  The Message bears fruit and gets larger and stronger, just as it has in you.”  I love this verse because it says that since the first time we heard the Word of Christ it has been growing larger and stronger all the time.    It is no accident that we as humans always have a desire for more.  More adventure, more people, more meaning, more money, more food, more creativity, more wisdom.  The list could go on forever, but the point is you ARE created for MORE.  In Jesus, dependently, more is not an insatiable word. More is what you were created for.   

**********

Even if you have been a Christian for twelve years there are times when you have to abandon yourself to Jesus, again. If you are in a season in your life where your heart is always hurting and you feel un-satisfied.  Give Jesus your heart and He will fill it up for you.

Men Doing Dishes ....

[ Picture credit to the Karra Hill - and one of her little signs in her kitchen ]

Sunday morning Chris got up before me.    Chris gets up before me almost every single day.   It is because he loves me and knows that my type B personality loves knowing that when his alarm goes off I still get a few more minutes of sleep.   What I love more is that Chris comes to wake me up instead of my alarm clock.   One of the many benefits of being married to the sexiest man on earth, Chris Hill.

So, Sunday morning Chris got up before me and when I walked into the kitchen he was doing the dishes.   It was one of the most romantic things I had ever seen in my life.   Fireworks were going off, rose petals were falling from the sky, and I am pretty sure angels were singing.

I walked into the kitchen just as Chris was finishing drying the last dish and he handed me a cup of coffee and walked with me to the couch.    Where we snuggled and had quiet times before church - and Chris might have started the last book in the Hunger Games.

Later on that day as Chris and I were trying to organize and unpack the last few boxes from our move.  I got to thinking about why Chris doing the dishes was the most romantic things on earth...

I believe it is because Chris was serving me in a way that meant a lot to me.   I love to cook which means I produce a large number of dirty dishes on a regular basis.   Not only does Chris always love my food but he was showing that he is committed to encouraging me to cook - by doing the dishes.   It is not necessarily the doing of the dishes that is the most romantic thing  - it is the thought behind what caused him to do the dishes in the first place.    He thought about me, thought about my time, thought about what I like to do, thought about what I had been doing, and simply wanted to bless me.    Chris sacrificed what he wanted to do at 8:30 on a Sunday morning to serve me.   That is what is so romantic and what makes me feel really safe as his wife.

It is also produced an atmosphere of honor in our house.    It produced an atmosphere of honor in my heart.   As his wife I am called to honor him and I most certainly try to do so.   But there is something about how Chris served me Sunday morning that made me respect him even more than I already did.   Chris serving me in the privacy of our own home when no one else knows about it makes me feel really safe and secure as his wife.   But it also makes me feel safe and secure to serve and honor Chris in public because I know that he will never take advantage of me submitting to and sacrificing for him.   I know that when I prefer and defer to him in public that I am doing so as a cherished and loved woman, and not as a dependent and opinion-less woman.   

At my brother's engagement party the men were sitting in my Dad's office showing off their guns.   I mean real live guns and not the muscles are their arms.    I walked in and asked Chris if he needed me to bring him anything.   This was a little scary for me because I was going out of my way to serve my husband in front of a lot of other men, and in the south sometimes men take it for granted that the women serve.   But --- my husband is a hunk of a man and would never take me for granted or view me as the "southern servant" whose only purpose in life is to serve her man.   Which is why I WANT to serve him and honor him - which in turn makes him want to serve and love me!

It is awesome and produces an amazing amount of respect and fun in our marriage.