Dear All,
As many of you know I began working for my parents back in December of 2008, and it was definitely a God thing because He has given me the grace to grow drastically every day and absolutely love my job.
Yet, like most things God does in our life, this job has served to be a major instrument from God's refining workshop. I must say, before I pour my heart out to you, that I absolutely love my job and would work no where else (unless God told me to). But, every day has been a war zone between my spirit and my flesh, so intense at times that I have had to close my door and get out the WORD of God to meditate and journal so that my emotions would fall back into the will of God. On the inside of my work folder, in which I carry around with notes on our current projects of that respected week, I have stapled this verse:
2 Corinthians 10:3-6 (The Message)
"The World is unprincipled. It's a dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way - never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity."
I have found being a girl working in the Oil Industry (even when your Dad is in the office) can be somewhat of a challenge, especially when you are a girl like me and can almost see directly into people's hearts! I have discovered that I really love this industry and have learned an incredible amount in a short amount of time, I have also discovered that I am a little smarter than I ever thought I was which has boosted my confidence. But as always the enemy tried to side swipe me by wanting me to believe that because I am girl I do not have a fair shot in the work place. Coupled along with that I have found it hard to work with people who do not always know what they are doing, which resulted in me being defensive and dominating!
In Chris's office they have these old oil women who have made it to the top of the corporate ladder in the Good Ole' Boys club; well Chris affectionately calls them iron pants meaning they rule with an iron fist and ever ounce of femininity has been drained from them. In that last couple of months I began to notice that I was developing a dominating spirit as a defense mechanism to not wanting to be pushed into the corner to answer phones. Yet, at the same time God was showing infinite amounts of grace by giving me opportunities to move forward and show that I could pull my weight. But, I have been fighting every day with this inner insecurity that was wanting to rear its ugly head all over the place, an ugliness that was constantly fighting to control my circumstance so I would not get run over by other people in the office. In the recent weeks God has guided me through these situations and has allowed to me see myself as I really am - HIS DAUGHTER THAT HE LOVES AND PROTECTS. God made me soft and feminine and CONFIDENT in HIM. He has led me to believe that I can still be successful in the office, yet remain in my womanly state giving respect and honor and also demanding it. I do not have to be Mrs. Iron pants to work in the office - PRAISE THE LORD!!!!
So, some of you might be asking- how does one do this? Honestly, I tell you by knowing the word of God and planting in your heart so when you get hard pressed it is the word of God that comes out! I am still learning this and working it out in my own life, but what God has even shown me this morning is that I am not supposed to react based on my emotions. Emotions are given to us to alert us, and then after we analyze the situation we are reacting to we then should make decisions! I have also learning to walk in a constant state of forgiveness by allowing God to defend me. By doing this I do not have to focus on situations and words that have hurt my feelings and I can just move on and get on with it!
Lastly - I have an awesome husband that I can talk all of this out with and he helps me so much, he brings me back into balance when I want to hurt people and when I think people are stupid. So make sure you have somebody in your life that you know will hold you fast to the word of God and the call he has on you. Because - YOU CANNOT DO IT ALONE - you have to have Jesus and fellowship in your life to live life on the narrow path!
much love,
Jess
The plan
9 years ago
