The Hills

Waiting on a Baby

2012-02-02T16:13:00.000-06:00

Hi :)

I am writing again and it just happens to be in the same week. It is getting wild up in here :)

I made a point on facebook earlier today and thought I would expound on the blog.

My baby hill is due to come sometime in February. He has some days left on his lease on my tummy space. I am not really willing to shout out the due date because I do not want to be hounded in case he is late. But, as every new mom or pregnant woman wishes - I just kind thought my little Hill bear might come early. I naturally planned to be done with my to-do list by February 1st.

What I totally neglected to consider was that when February 1st rolled around, and little man hill was still enjoying his time inside my tummy, that I would go absolutely stir crazy and would want to completely forgo being a productive member of society. A restlessness has settled over our house hold as I have started to realize that I still must cook, clean, wear makeup, sleep, breath, do taxes, pay bills, and walk the dog.

On top of this realization that I am not in control of my body or time or anything is the fact that my hormones are like raging wildebeest (those large hairy african animals things).

Let's do some math.

Wildebeest hormones + Restlessness + large pregnant woman + skewed expectations = Mass pandemonium inside this here Hill House.

So - two days into this I have decided that I cannot live like this for the next while. I cannot become an irrational moron. I have decided that I am allowed to cry and then move on, thanks to some advice from my midwife. In some way typing this out on the blog makes it more final. So there hormones and skewed expectations I am moving on and refuse to be abused by you.

My Current Reality

2012-01-31T09:17:00.000-06:00

I am sitting here 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant with a huge moving belly due to an active Hill child. Giada the puppy is laying on the couch with her head rested on the top of my bump. My active Hill Boy is currently kicking her in the jaw which apparently bothers her very little. I have my laptop perched upon a huge pillow so that I can reach around by huge belly and puppy to type.

After going 9 months of forgoing my morning coffee for the benefit of my growing child the lure of being 2 weeks away from being allowed to pour myself a huge cup in the morning has caused me to start dreaming of going to Starbucks. Last night I kept dreaming about trying to get to Starbucks to get coffee but I could never quite make it there. Even I consider this to be a little weird :). My staunch resolve to not have caffeine is has started to fade as the end of my abstinence is waning.

I will now merge my lack of coffee and seemingly lack of good quite times while pregnant - together.

Giving up my morning coffee totally rocked my morning routine of talking to Jesus before my day got started. While this sounds superficial and it probably is, it happened. You would think that making myself some decaf earl gray with a huge squeeze of lemon would have been able to bridge the gap of steaming hot liquid and spending time with Jesus in the early morn'. Unfortunately it did not. I totally blame my husband for this who spent a considerable amount of time and effort to get me to like his super bold Starbucks coffee by relating it to spending time with him and Jesus.

Anyways, on the deeper side of the issue is God has called me to write. I hate admitting this on the blog as I have done several times, but it is actually more of an accountability attempt than really wanting all of you to know. God has called me to write. To use writing as a vessel to pour out what He pours into me. I have finally accepted that writing can be in any form and for whatever purpose God has for it. The only condition is that I must simply write and obey. The spiritual battle, the hormones, the kidney stones, and the lack of coffee during my pregnancy has caused me to be stagnant with this whole writing thing. If I were to be really honest I could just say my flesh prevailed and my spirit did not.

Thankfully I have a God who knows me well and loves me well. He desperately wants me to live out what He has called me to do and pursues me into it. Since I have not been writing God has not been talking to me very much. You might not think that sounds like "pursuing" but it is because God knows that when it comes down to it I really do desire him above everything else. Even though I am in this spiritual drought, which is really of my own disobedient choosing, I really do desire to intimate and know Jesus more. Jesus, who totally knows this, has been holding out on me because He longs for me to walk in obedience to what He has called me to to. He is using himself as a lure. Which come to think of it - my husband does this too. :)

As I am approaching child birth and the opportunity to meet this little one God has given me and Chris - I am DESPERATE for God to talk to me. I am DESPERATE to walk in obedience in every single area of my life so that I can be close to Him. After my coffee dreams of last night I woke up thinking I am just going to write words on the page just so I can talk to Jesus. Like my resolve to not have caffeine has started to fade so has my resolve to give in to my lazy flesh and not write.

So I am writing to you about not writing and trying to choose to write. It is all very complicated and somewhat silly but it is what is going on. That, and my baby is still kicking my puppy in the face. Which makes me think about my puppy and baby meeting for the first time. I hope Giada transitions well into being #2 instead of #1.

As I ramble on rather un-logically - I have to let you know that I the fact that I am about to have a baby and that our life will be changed forever has started to sink in. I have also started to accept that I have give birth to this little one in order to meet him. It is SO totally crazy and in order to not become totally crazy I have decided to just trust Jesus with it all because if I really think about it to long it scares me!!!!!

I will leave you with that thought :) hopefully I will talk to you soon!

Fight

2012-01-08T23:30:00.001-06:00

In these last few weeks before I become a Mother and as one year had ended and another begun, I naturally have gotten a little reflective. While it is the going trend come January 1st I feel that God really does love new beginnings - he did create them! It seems that I am getting a new beginning with the start of 2012 and will soon enter into another with newness of Motherhood.

Motherhood - can you believe that I just typed that and that there is a baby kicking in my stomach? I almost cannot except for the jab in the side I just got from my son.

Let me tell start with this: 2011 was one heck of a year. While Chris and I had some great times and God has blessed us with our growing son, it was also a really hard year with some trying circumstances. I feel like it was a year of transition. A year where vision was scarce and the day to day tried to cloud out the big picture God always has in front of us. Yet, as James says trials build character so rejoice. One thing I am very grateful for is that God had built us up previously so that we could continue to have joy even in the midst of our trials. For that I am eternally grateful because there is just something super powerful about having JOY during the midst of a seemingly never-ending storm. The power of joy comes from being rooted in the belief that God is always there for you even when you cannot feel Him or see Him. It is the power of believing that God is GOOD while He is leading you through the darkness. That is character I can appreciate. My Mom always taught me that you can never depend on circumstances for joy, you can only depend on God to get your fill of contentment in life. Circumstances always change but God never changes.

2011 had some pretty hard stuff - not the least of which was me passing three kidney stones and having one bad A kidney infection all while pregnant. Which led to unexpected medical bills and several months of getting my energy back all while Chris had gotten promoted (which was awesome), but led to him working 70 + hours a week for several months before they hired him an assistant person from Jersey. Once we got over that we had to replace our furnace in our house and the transmission in Chris's not very old and fairly nice pick up truck -- at the beginning of December right after we had just bought all of our Christmas presents. Can you say AWESOME? At first we felt very slapped in the face but only for a moment. While our flesh was trying to freak out over our drained savings account we were overwhelmed with the amazing peace we had that God was our provider. I just want to stop right here and say the fact that God had provided us with the confidence and maturity in Him to take a rational side step from our emotions and allow Him to give us some of His perspective was MONEY. As I look back on that moment I am so grateful for His goodness, mercy, and ability to give hope. When the poop hits the fan those are the things that really count. It feels good to say that we have experienced the poop hitting the fan and found God to not be wanting, but ready, willing, and able to be everything and do everything we need of Him.

After we took an account of our life to make sure we were not out of balance or living in disobedience we realized that we were just having some trails and we just needed to REJOICE. So we did and God provided for us through a Father's heart :) all in the same month.

I tell you this A) because it is good to be real and B) to say while all of that was hard and trying and not fun, my LEAST favorite part of 2011 was my heart towards God and life. It kind of just seemed like I was existing and not living with passion for God or for who he created me to be. I think the best way to describe this would be to say that I lived out 2011, a lot of the time, just simply luke-warm. Even just saying that makes me want to throw my computer across the room, but it is true. I hate that I was that way. After thinking about this for a while I believe that I lived in that luke-warm continuam because I have been afraid for live out what I feel God has called me to do - and that is to write. At the root I was / am afraid to fail, so it is easier to just not try.

At some of my weakest moments of 2011- one of which was after my kidney infection - God has had one thing to say to me, to fight.. My body was weak from fighting, my soul was weak from fighting, and all the fight left in me was growing a baby. I was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes and existing. God spoke to my heart and said fight. I felt in that moment Him impress upon my heart to fight for my baby, for myself, and for my family. In the same moment He renewed my strength to fight. It was a good swift kick in the butt. I desperately needed it.

Several times throughout this last year God has brought me to Luke 18. I am going to post it below. If you are anything like me I usually hate reading large portions of scripture on people's blogs because I find it annoying. How Christian of me :) --- BUT don't skip over this, it is good. Well all scripture is good - there are just times when God is speaking to you more out of a certain part it.

Luke 18

1 ALSO [Jesus] told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not to turn coward (faint, lose heart, and give up).2 He said, In a certain city there was a judge who neither reverenced and feared God nor respected or considered man.3 And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, Protect and defend and give me justice against my adversary.4 And for a time he would not; but later he said to himself, Though I have neither reverence or fear for God nor respect or consideration for man,5 Yet because this widow continues to bother me, I will defend and protect and avenge her, lest she give me intolerable annoyance and wear me out by her continual coming or at the last she come and rail on me or assault me or strangle me.6 Then the Lord said, Listen to what the unjust judge says!7 And will not [our just] God defend and protect and avenge His elect (His chosen ones), who cry to Him day and night? Will He defer them and delay help on their behalf?8 I tell you, He will defend and protect and avenge them speedily. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find [persistence in] faith on the earth?

God is still speaking to me out of this portion of Luke, but I find it to be totally exhilarating. I do not have to give into my flesh and be afraid of failing at what God has called me to do. I do not have to accept the onslaught of trials that have come upon my family. I do not have to accept existing in life. I do not have to accept the luke-warmness of my flesh. I can cry out to God. A God who is ready to avenge and protect me -- even if it is from myself.

In the moments when I do not even know how to pray I can cry out to God to put words in my mouth and a passion in my heart. In moments when I am struggling to sit down to obey and live out what I feel He has called me to do I can cry out to Him and I know that He will answer me in some way.

There are some of you reading this who feel moved to pray for me -- I totally appreciate that --- bring it on! There are some of you who need the reminder to have faith in God and that sometimes He is waiting for you to cry out to Him. You need to fight and stop taking the punches.

On the blog front for 2012 I hope to do two things: write about the day to day living and post 1000 pictures of my son, and write about God is speaking to me about.

love, a very loved daughter of the most High King.

Love: It works

2011-12-18T01:41:00.000-06:00

Last week I re-read 1 Corinthians 13. Ya know, that love chapter that we never really understood as kids because it talked about clanging gongs and mirrors that reflected imperfectly!

While this is said often and it is definitely true: sometimes you can read something that you have read 20 times before and the 21'st time you finally get it. I finally got 1 Corinthians 13 last week. It finally resonated in me. Not only the fact that God is love and love resonates from Him, but the fact that all love is seriously legit. It is like the navy seal of characteristics.

4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.5 It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].6 It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

I am at the same time in awe of the fact that God loves me and therefore feels all those things for me, and in awe that I fall so terribly short of that example. I started to play out what love looks like in life and it was so different than what I thought.

For example while trying to go to sleep one night last week I was thinking of something someone said that offended me slightly. Awesome, right? While I was thinking about this person and how I felt about them at that moment suddenly 1 Corinthians 13:7 came up in my mind and shouted "love is ever ready to believe the best of every person". Like the snap of fingers my offense and bad feelings totally changed as I applied love to them. I am terrible at believing the best of certain people. No matter the reason that completely sucks and is not love. But once I applied that definition of love in that certain situation and I allowed God to give me his love to love with - everything changed. The premise that love conquers all started to really come alive as I realized how powerful love really is.

Recently I have been really intrigued by getting to know God for no other reason than just to have more intimacy with Him. While this should be the goal of all our walks with God, for me it is just God getting me to the next level of maturity. I have realized that God really is everything that we are searching for. He creatively explains who He is all throughout scripture and somehow I have missed certain parts of Him while growing up.

Isn't it cool to think that God is always ready to believe the best of us even when He knows our hearts?

Today the part of love that I need to apply to life is: loves hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. God is enduring. His love for us is enduring. His dreams for us are enduring. His hope in us is enduring. His love should translate into our life allowing us to have hopes that endure all circumstances. Sometimes life can hand us some pretty crazy circumstances to endure through and enduring can be hard. But we are loved by love himself who can hope for us and give us hope.

The past six months have handed Chris and I a pretty awesome set of circumstances that have done their best to knock the wind out us. Yet, God gently reminds us that he is love and love's hopes are fadeless and enduring all circumstances. He is our provider and protector and our Daddy. He is plain cool :)

Catching up On Life

2011-12-13T15:16:00.000-06:00

Hi :)

Are you preparing for Christmas? Are you getting excited to spend time with family and friends? I know I am. We are getting ready to celebrate our last Christmas without a child of our very own. Can you believe that?

I am so excited. I have moments where I begin to realize that our life is about to change big time. I have other moments where I still cannot believe that I am almost 8 months pregnant. Pregnancy has definitely forced me to focus on the present, so the moments when I am able to think about the future are always mind blowing!

I will be 8 months pregnant on Friday. I am growing at alarming rates in every direction :) and I have something very alive inside of me moving all around. The nursery is almost complete and I feel that we are almost prepared to have this little one. At least we can get him home and provide him a place to sleep.

To catch all of you up I have had a little drama in my pregnancy. Which thankfully has not harmed or bothered our baby boy at all. Our little one of growing and happy and being completed by God in my tummy.

My last post caught you up with my first trimester -- which was hormonally difficult but that is just sometimes the nature of pregnancy :)

[ Disclaimer: Talking about pregnancy drama that was supervised by doctors. Please do not share with me any of your pregnancy related horror stories or any kidney infection horror stories. Thank you ]

A week into my second trimester I got a pregnancy induced kidney stone. Under the care of doctors and nutritionists I was able to pass it at home. Not without an excruciating amount of pain but also with some heart peace that I was going to be ok.

It took my pregnant body awhile to recover from that but the baby was fine and that was all that mattered.

A month after the first kidney stone my body threw me for a loop. On the first Saturday of September, while Chris and I were watching Pioneer Woman on TV, I started getting symptoms of another kidney stone. This time it was different and I knew that I needed to go to the hospital immediately. Within an hour of the pain starting we were checked into the emergency room. It was determined that I had a kidney infection and I was passing a kidney stone at the same time. The pain was indescribable. They eventually checked me into postpartum where I stayed for 5 days. Thankfully the baby was completely un-bothered by the whole situation which I am so grateful to God for. Thankfully I had some amazing doctors who encouraged me and spoke hope over me and the baby. Thankfully I got better and was able to walk out of there.

Literally a week after I left the hospital I got another kidney stone. Thankfully there was no infection or fever and the pain was not quite as severe. I spent most of my time passing it at home but my doctor advised me to go see a urologist to see if he could help me out. Unfortunately traveling while passing a kidney stone was not the best idea and the pain peaked right as I got to the doctor's office. They immediately transferred me to postpartum care in the Labor and Delivery section under the care of my OB. A beautiful lady came to transfer me. She was dressed up in her business finest and did not look like someone who should be transferring a patient from one part of the hospital to another. In the midst of the transfer while we were waiting on a room she prayed for me. Instantly my pain stopped and I passed that kidney stone like it was no big deal and I got to leave the hospital the next morning. Again, the baby was completely fine and had a great heartbeat and started to move.

The month after my kidney infection / second and third stone was emotionally very difficult for me. I simply had no energy and had trouble accomplishing the most minuscule tasks. For the first time in my entire life I experienced a little bout of depression. In truth my body was recovering from a severe infection and was busy growing and protecting a little baby. My body was tired and my emotions were allowed to run free and I was pretty angry that I had gotten sick. After all I thought I was pretty healthy!

God did not let me stay there long, but I had to make the decision to stop feeling sorry for myself and gett off the couch even though I did not feel like it. I was standing at the kitchen sink one day when the Lord whispered to my heart to fight. To fight for my baby, for myself, and for my family. I turned off the TV and started listening to sermons and my heart got stronger and stronger. I was able to break out of the depression I was in and start to live again.

My doctor, who I LOVE, was finally able to get me on the right natural supplement. My kidneys love it and everything is WAY better. The baby has continued to grow and move and have awesome heartbeats.

It has been a while since our last medical drama and I have energy and feel like a real human being. We even got to go on a babymoon to La Canterra resort just north of San Antonio and return to having a more normal social life.

I guess I tell you these things so you can be praying for us as we enter into our last few weeks of pregnancies. As with all babies I know God has a special plan for our little boy. I appreciate every prayer that comes our way.

I can say today that I feel God's presence in our life. All of this has brought Chris and I closer together and has taught us to pray and be proactive. God has given us what we need in this life we just have to receive it and sometime get up and fight. God has allowed us to be SO EXCITED and to truly ENJOY all the non kidney related parts of this pregnancy. God has even allowed me to be excited for our next pregnancy --- which I was totally unsure about when I was getting admitted to the emergency room.

Merry Christmas :) I hope to keep you updated on our life, our thoughts, and what is going on in our hearts.

I have and I haven't fallen off the face of the earth :)

2011-10-07T09:56:00.000-05:00

Hi :)

Yes, I actually still have this blog. No, I have not actually blogged since March of this year. In truth I have two reasons why I have not blogged. The first is the last 9 to 10 months have been the most spiritually dry of my life. Second, which is a WAYYY better reason than the first, is that I am pregnant with our first born SON :). Which I am assuming most of you know from facebook.

God has laid a bunch of things on my heart to share with you which I am sure will take several blog posts. In this one hopefully I can catch you up on a few things in our life and from my heart.

So .... remember when I posted about landscaping and being uncomfortable? In those posts I might have moaned about how after I had made all these declarations about wanting to grow that God was all quiet on the western front? Well, needless to say God reads my blog and he responded. Our life has been CRAZY for the last 5 or 6 months. We have been challenged in about every way. Good and bad. We have grown.

In my post about landscaping I talked about doing, acting, and obeying and I referenced several verses from James describing what God was telling me to do. In truth, because what means anything without truth, I have not done a whole lot of doing, acting, and obeying in the specific areas God has asked me to. Admitting that hurts but being real with myself is also awesome. I am secure in the fact that God loves me beyond what I am capable of understanding, and I am also secure in the fact that the intimacy that I will have with God will only grow as I do, act, and obey. Fortunately enough for me :) God has made me uncomfortable enough that I am SO ready to do, act, and obey. Coincidence? I think probably not.

How pregnancy fits into all of this:

Last fall Chris and I started to pray about when to start a family. I was starting to get the baby bug. We just wanted to be on the same page with God. In January of this year after Chris and God had a conference about what the Hill Family Vision was for this year, Chris announced that this was the year we were going to get pregnant. Even though I had the baby bug and was ready to have a baby at any moment, Chris actually being ready totally freaked me out. After MUCH praying and talking we really felt like God had said May was to be the month of conception. Since we were successfully implementing natural family planning February, March, and April were extremely difficult because I just wanted to try and have a baby. But, we waited because we trusted God. Thankfully in this area of our life there was lots of obedience and listening and we very much counseled with God to make sure we were following his will.

May came and we did all the things necessary to conceive a baby. Naturally May was a super stressful and trying month in more ways than one, for me. I had to seriously practice taking all my thoughts captive, forgiving people who hurt me, and seriously trusting Jesus. Naturally during the time we were fertile we had a huge disagreement with a close family member that was nothing but an attack from the enemy to get me all stressed out in ways my body could not handle. Thankfully I have a rock of a husband who stood in the gap for our family. Thankfully God gave me the grace to just let Him fix everything. He did and we absolutely love, respect, and adore that close family member.

I have actually never done so much praying as I did in the time between conception and finding out if was pregnant. I contended for the health of my body and the health of the baby that I trusted was growing inside of me. A fight in me came out that I had never experienced before.

The first weekend of June rolled around and we celebrated our third wedding anniversary. It was perfect. I am so in love with my husband and I am so attracted to him :). That Sunday night I decided it was time to take a pregnancy test and it was negative. I did not cry. I kind of just responded like I am pregnant, whatever. Over the next two days I went into major spiritual warfare mode and prayed as I walked G around memorial park. I had this fight in me that was not going to give up. I was pregnant and I was not going to except anything less. During these two days I also started experiencing some early pregnancy symptoms. I obviously, having never been pregnant before, had no idea. But, my friend Julie who I was divulging my heart out to totally realized that I was probably pregnant. The Tuesday following the Sunday of the negative test was actually our anniversary day. Julie called me at 9 in the morning to say I absolutely had to take another test. Then Liz called who was about 4 months pregnant at the time and knew nothing about my negative test, but she went on to tell me that her first test was negative and her second one was positive. So, I took another test and it was immediately positive. I cannot tell you the joy of seeing that little pink line. I had all these great intentions of waiting until Chris got home to tell him that I was pregnant. I even went and ran all these errands in preparation of a grandiose anniversary dinner. As the afternoon wore on I could not wait another moment so I called him at work and told him. He was absolutely thrilled and his concentration was ruined for the rest of the day. We found out we were expecting on the day of our third anniversary. It was truly the best present ever.

I can also say that the few days I had in between the negative test and the positive test gave me some perspective for people who try a long time to get pregnant. I respect them in a way I never could have before. Even though I would like to say something to help make their pain better I know I cannot. I can just say that I have this little, tiny, incomparable bit of understanding. Not really enough to justify but just enough to know more than I did.

I can say that getting pregnant was a miracle. Never before in my life have I been so sure of God. I felt so blessed and so aware of God's mercy and grace that he would allow Chris and I to become parents. While people get pregnant all the time, each time is a complete and utter miracle. The creation of a new baby is a complete testament that God loves us and is all powerful.

You would think that after all the prayer, fighting, and good news that my faith would have been more than a mustard seed. That maybe I would have entered into this rich spiritual time with the Lord and have become a super woman --- because that is totally what I thought would have happened. But it did not. Instead I became closed up as if I were the one, and not God, who was protecting my pregnancy. I went into survivor mode shutting down any unnecessary emotion and thought. I was not relying on God for my baby and for me. I just shut down.

Chris also got a huge promotion in May, which was an answer to prayer, but also required him to start working 60-80 hr weeks for about 3 months. Needless to say the Hill house started playing defense instead of offense.

Which would explain why my spiritual life became so dry. Which would explain the lack of blog writing.

But you know what - God did not leave me or Chris in that place for long. But you will have to wait until tomorrow for that story :)

It's really that simple? (Yes is the answer.)

2011-05-02T06:47:00.001-05:00

This verse in red letters is legitimately changing the way that I view and live my life:

Matt 11:28-30

28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]

29 Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest ( relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. [Jer 6:16.]

30 For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good — not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne.
AMP

I must first thank my dear friend Kevin Weaver for allowing the Lord to gently reveal this to him and for Kevin's superb and simple delivery of this truth.

I know, I know, I know. #1) I haven't written a blog in months, #2) I jump right out after not having written a blog in months and make some ludicrous claim like "legitimately changing the way that I view and live my life.". I know. I'm sorry. It's the truth.

Frankly, we should all start to think a little differently, and honestly, Kevin's book is going to be used to do a lot of reshaping and challenging of the modern "Christian" thinking.

The thought is this simple:
"If it ain't light, it ain't God."

His yoke is wholesome. Think about the words that the amplified uses to describe it: useful, good, not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant. His burden is light and easy to be borne.

That means that if you feel pressed, if you feel hard, if something is heavy, it's likely not from God. Stop, turn around, and get that off.

"I feel so burdened, I feel so heavy for (this situation, this people group, this mission)."

Likely not from God.

I'm not saying that there aren't trials and struggles, but why do you think Paul wrote about peace that surpasses all undersanding and he and silas were able to sing in their chains?

An Easy yoke. A light burden. Jesus is easy and light.

More to come, but I felt like that was for someone this morning. Run into Jesus. He's so good. His glory is his goodness (Moses in the cleft of the rock).

Mr. Hill

Rocket Science and the Art of Cleaning

2011-03-30T18:18:00.000-05:00

My little business that I co-own with my soon-to-be sister in law Mikala, or Mikaykay, has taught me something about cleaning.

You see we teach people how to eat healthy, which often involves meal planning. Unfortunately there is no secret key to getting healthy meals on your table. It takes discipline, determination, a little strategy. and eventually it becomes a habit.

BUT --- I have been waiting for this secret key to having a clean house, and of course I have not yet found it. I would clean and then it would get messy again. I kept thinking that somehow I would figure out the secret that clean people magically have and I too could boast of organization and cleanliness.

Recently while discussing with someone that meal planning is simply something that you must sit down and do I realized that this also applies to cleaning.

It was like I was Einstein who had just discovered a new law of physics.

YOU MUST CLEAN ALL THE TIME, AND YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO JUST DO IT?

WHY???????

Going Home

2011-03-30T08:12:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I helped throw a baby shower in College Station, and Chris had a trip planned with our group of friends to go to a hog wrestling tournament in Sabinal, Tx.

Friday night I packed up the envoy with the puppy, my hair dryer, and a little mexican food from Escalantes and we headed to Magnolia. Magnolia is the home of the barn, our previous home, and my parents house. Christmas was the last time I had spent the night at my parents house, so I figured it was a good time to visit.

I got to my parents house well after dinner, so I brought my fajita salad in and sat at my parents huge kitchen table . My mom and my soon to be sister in law sat with me as I ate. My Dad and brothers sauntered in and out, and Giada got to play with her cousin Jack The Great Dane.

Instead of staying in "my room" I stayed in the guest bedroom. My mom had put clean sheets on the bed and had everything all prepared for me.

Growing up you have no idea how wonderful this is, but after having your own guest bedroom you understand what a wonderful treat it is to not have to pur your own sheets on the bed.

Saturday was whirlwind of errands and activity as me and my Mom prepared for the baby shower in College Station. We got home late Saturday night and sat on the couch while my Dad made us both hot raspberry zinger tea.

Saturday night I got to fully relax and enjoy being "home". Sunday morning I slept late and woke up to my Dad making breakfast in the kitchen. As I poured myself a cup of coffee I thought how wonderful it was to wake up to coffee and breakfast that I did not prepare for myself. My entire family, with the exception of Chris who was very much missed, sat down for one of my Dad's famous breakfasts and had good conversation. After breakfast my Mom and I went on a walk on the three mile loop in High Meadow Ranch. Walking is my love language, so when people go on walks with me I feel really loved.

It was such a treat to be home. After growing up and having a house of my own I felt totally pampered at my parents house. Which is funny because I got that treatment for 18 years thinking it was totally normal and having no idea how much our parents did for us. It was just good to go home and hang out with my family, so good I felt like I needed to blog about it. My Dad's breakfasts have a tendency to do that to people :)

Landscaping

2011-03-18T09:47:00.000-05:00

A week ago today my big, strapping, muscle bound husband ripped up all the horrible and terrible shrubs out of my front yard. He hacked, sawed, and dug until those ugly shrubs were ripped up out of the ground, roots and all. I raked leaves and filled expensive, Houston required, recyclable trash bags with the debris from my husband's work. Truly, I did not help much but at least I wanted to look like I was trying as he was using all his force to prep my flower beds for spring. While my flowers beds are still in the transitional phase I know that soon they will be beautiful thanks to my handsome husband.

My friend Liz describes this process perfectly on her blog A Little Peace of Home.

Remember the post where I talked about wanting to get comfortable being uncomfortable? Ever since I wrote that post I have been waiting on God to give me huge opportunities to start to grow. I expected Him to start revealing himself to me in new ways, and that my entire life would start to take shape and be different. Instead it has been "all quiet on the western front" as I have tried to have quiet times and seek Him.

It was not until this morning that I realized that my heart needed some "landscaping" of its own to be done by my big, strapping, muscle bound Jesus. I just gave up this morning and got down on my knees during my quiet time. G laid next to me and I laid my heart before God and told Him that I was not going to get up until He spoke something to my heart.

Lately I have felt so distracted by all that I have to do, want to do, and hope to do that I in fact have done no doing at all. This entire week I have badgered my husband with statements like "I feel worthless", "I need to know more of who I am in Jesus, and " I want to know if I am doing the right thing".

As I laid before Jesus this morning I realized that I have been like the person James talks about in chapter 1 verse 23 & 24 AMP "For if anyone only listens to the Word without obeying it and being a doer of it, he is like a man who looks carefully at his [own] face in a mirror; For he thoughtfully observes himself, and then goes off and promptly forgets what he was like".

Can you say convicting? Regarding my worth in Jesus and and here on this earth I have been like "a man of two minds (hesitating, dubious, irresolute) , [he is] unstable and unreliable and uncertain about everything [he thinks, feels, decides]. James 1:8 AMP As I said in the previous blog post since I graduated college I have been caught between living life comfortably and uncomfortably. I have been like "one who wavers (hesitates, doubting) like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind".James 1:6b AMP. I have heard God speak to me about who I am in Him and what He has planned for me to do, but in doubt I have just listened and have done nothing.

I repented this morning. I asked God to change my thinking. I told Him that His ways are above my ways, that His thoughts are above my thoughts, and the His will is above my will.

"In simple humility, let our Gardner, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life." James 1:21b MSG

God also convicted me about not trusting Him about our future. This shows how comfortable I have gotten because my entire life has been based on me having supernatural faith in God regarding anything I have ever done or received. My faith had nothing to do with me being supernatural, but it had everything to do with the fact that I have always believed that God's way was the only way I could ever do anything. I laid my desire to secure my future before God and decided to trust Him for today and tomorrow. I believe as you grow up you think it is the responsible thing to do to worry about the future and try to scratch out some form of security for yourself. While planning is always wise, worrying is definitely not.

"And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the span of his life? And why should you be anxious about clothes? Consider the lilies of the field and learn thoroughly how they grow; they neither toil nor spin. Yes I tell you, even Solomon in all his magnificence was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and green and tomorrow is tossed into the furnace, will He not much more surely clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do no worry and be anxious saying What are we going to eat? or, What are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear? For the heathen wish for and crave and diligently seek all these things, and your heavenly Father know well that you need them all. But seek first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing things and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides. So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble." Matt 6:27-34 AMP

I share these things with you this morning because I am so guilty of letting God landscape me, and then after He has planted me with a beautiful garden of flowers then sharing with you how the process went. Instead today I have invited you into the process. Like my own front yard I am in the transitional phase, not yet planted just uprooted and bare.

My prayer for myself this morning is this:

"But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God-the free life! -even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action." James 1:25 MSG

[ AMP = The Amplified Bible. MSG = The Message Bible ]

I just want to be comfortable ... but I also want to grow.

2011-03-04T13:38:00.001-06:00

This is part of an email I wrote to one of my besties Kelley Ellis .

I simply wanted to share it with you because you are my bloggie readers, and I must redeem myself from my Bieber Fever declaration. Actually I want to share it with you because hopefully you can watch me grow. I know that Jesus always answers these kinds of prayers, and I so I want to give him the opportunity to get the glory.

***************

Last night Sheridan and I had the first Campaigners with our freshman girls. It has been over 3 years since I have lead or attended a bible study or a physical accountability group where we discussed the word. Although we only had a few girls and our conversation was skin deep at best, my heart strings were tugged and God started speaking.

I realized this morning that since I graduated college I have wanted to live life comfortably. What I mean by that is that I have not wanted to stretch myself too much, and I most certainly did not want God to stretch me too much. While I have gone through a ton of growing experiences over the past 3 years and am now a better person. I have held God at arms reach in certain areas of my life. Areas that over the last year He has slowly been revealing to me. Buying this house was an area that grew and stretched beyond what I thought I could handle, and yet here we are completely provided for. I realized last fall that I was not allowing God to grow me into what he was and is calling me to do regarding a job / making a living. When I graduated college I basically had a huge list of things that I told God I would NEVER do. I essentially completely opposed Him from doing what He wanted to do in my life. This particular realization has come into view over that past six to eight months. Starting Kitchen Sisters is definitely a result of me allowing God to move me, and yet I still fear that I have not completely given up control in this area. Honestly, me not submitting completely to Jesus scares me way more than submitting to Him. Yet, I still struggle to submit and give up control completely.

This morning came a whole new scenario where God showed me that I have been holding him back from doing what He wants to in life. I realized that I have held back the areas of being planted in our church, attending a bible study, or even being mentored by a wiser woman. Simply because I wanted to be comfortable. I realize that not having too many commitments early on in marriage is a good thing, but I believe I went from focusing on building my marriage to protecting myself from uncomfortable situations. My heart was flooded with emotion this morning by the desire to be surrounded by Godly women who want to speak the word into my life. My desire to be part of a bible study suddenly appeared at the forefront of my thoughts. Not my desire to lead a bible study but simply the desire to be a part of one. The desire to be poured into. A hunger for Jesus that I have not had in a long time because I so wanted to be comfortable.

I am writing all these things to you because I want your prayer. I want and need fellowship in Jesus. I want to learn and grow and I want to be ok with being uncomfortable.

*************

I leave you with this

Sometimes G likes to wear hangers as necklaces

The Bieber Fever

2011-02-21T07:16:00.000-06:00

I admit I went and saw Never Say Never this past weekend with my friend Hillary.

I admit that after I got home from the movie that I downloaded Justin Bieber songs off of iTunes.

I admit that the movie and songs are both really awesome.

I admit that I have the fever.

The Bieber Fever.

I am not ashamed.

Valentines - A Day or Two late

2011-02-16T10:44:00.000-06:00

What do I love about my Valentine -- the one and only hot Mr. Hill?

I love that every single year since we started dating he has always made Valentines day special. I have never made a big deal of valentines day, but since Mr. Hill has been in my life he always has.

This year he surprised me with a weekend stay at the St. Regis hotel in Houston. We love to get away and stay in hotels. It is like a little mini escape from the world where the two of you can just focus on each other without the distractions of life.

Friday night we decided to get pizza from Fuzzy's and check into the hotel and watch a movie. You better believe that we valet parked and got out of the car with a 16 inch pizza, and then proceeded to go into the lobby carrying the box. We walked up to the concierge who seemed a little surprised and amused at our audacity to carry in carry out pizza into the St. Regis. It was fun, perfect, and completely us. Pizza is our splurge item of choice and resembles what is most romantic in the world. Reminds me of the John Mayer song comfortable ......

Saturday we got up and had coffee at the local Starbucks and had a little Jesus time together. We then ventured off for an early lunch at Central Market. I had the most amazing salad with roasted asparagus, crispy capers, artichokes, and black olive hummus dressing.

After our lunch had settled we headed over to memorial park to run off the pizza we ate the night before. During college Chris injured his knee quite badly. After several surgeries and lots of prayer Chris is now able to play basketball and run outside. I realize that going to the park to run seems normal but this was a huge deal for us because literally this was the first time we have gone to the park together. After several weeks of terrible weather Saturday ended up being perfect. There was not a cloud in the sky and it was a wonderful 70 degrees outside.

After our run we did a little window shopping in the Montrose area and got a little frozen yogurt. We returned to the hotel to get ready for our dinner and movie later on that night. We went and saw the King's Speech at the River Oak theatre - it is probably one of the best movies that we have seen in a long time. After the movie we had a late dinner at Michealangelos. My Mimi and Papa took me to this restaurant growing up, so I have a lot of memories there. It is an old italian place in Montrose that has a tree growing inside of it. The food and service is perfect and the atmosphere is even better.

The next day we slept in and Chris got up and got us coffee. We had some more Jesus time together and then checked out of the hotel. One of our friends told us about the Urban Market happening this past weekend, so Chris and I went and had a fun time getting inspiration for our house!

We then returned back to reality where we cleaned the house and did laundry.

It was an absolutely perfect weekend!

The Black Hole of Need

2011-01-28T22:09:00.000-06:00

[ This is part of something I wrote just before Christmas. It is part of a message I like to call Vulnerably Dependent. I just felt like this needed to be posted, so if it speaks to your heart that is awesome :) ]

One of the fears that keep us from abandoning ourselves fully to God is the fear that the work will be unendurable and the toiling will be too much. We fear that our lives will lack joy and excitement when just the opposite is true. Much of the church today speaks of a mundane and an unexciting life while the world lures us into a lie that it will provide the real destiny adventures that we so long for. It is a trap set by the enemy to keep us wrapped in the safety of the mundane while constantly searching for the adventure God destined us to have. The unending search creates a loop of dissatisfaction and frustration that propels us into what I call the black hole of need. A black hole of need that can only be filled by God, but because of the lies of the enemy we try and fill it with everything but Him.

1 John 15-17 The MSG

Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s good. Love of the world squeezes out love for the father. Practically everything that goes on in the world – wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important – has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out – but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.

The black hole is a very interesting phenomenon that if allowed tries to become part of our very nature. The really scary thing about the black hole is that it is just as rampant among non-Christians as it is among Christians. The black hole tries to tell us that its needs are part of our personality. It interweaves lies into our daily life telling us that when we are stressed we must eat something, buy something, or do something. When we are sad it tells us how to act and what to immerse ourselves in. When we are happy it dictates to us how we express happiness. In the end the black hole of need develops in our lives idols that steal our attention away from God. If we all truly think about it there are things in our life that we always turn to before we turn to God. There are things in our life that you may be secretly holding on to tighter than God.

It is very uncomfortable to think about. That we modern day Christians would have many idols in our life. The worldliness in us justifies many of them by telling us that it is responsible, smart, or even normal to hold certain things in such high places in our life. That justification veils our eyes to the truth.

At this very point you may start feeling like I am trying to condemn you and your behavior, and that really there is no chance of living correctly. These are the lies of the spirit of legalism that seek to destroy even further what God really desires to be in our life. You see the truth is that God desires to be first in every area of your life because He does not want you to live under the burden of making your life mean something. He does not want you to carry the responsibility of what He has called you to. Most importantly He wants to experience intimacy with you on levels far beyond what you can imagine, all the time. God does not want you to be a slave to your cravings, desires, lusts, wants, and needs. God wants to be your provider, protector, and deliverer. God wants to give you the desires of your heart.

At the heart of Vulnerably Dependent is the truth that if we allow certain areas of our life to be held higher than Jesus is in our life, then we simply are not living in the blessing or protection of God. Those areas are automatically open to the enemy to do as he pleases. It is when we put our hope in these areas, things, people, and dreams where true heartbreak and devastation come in. A life dependent on God is not void of certain troubles, but the difference is when your heart is all His then He always protects and provides for it.

What seems to be the biggest risk of all, abandoning our selves completely to God, is really what secures us in the safest and most blessed place of all.

In Colossians 1:5-6 in the Message Paul says: “The Message is as true among you today as when you first heard it. It doesn’t diminish or weaken over time. It’s the same all over the world. The Message bears fruit and gets larger and stronger, just as it has in you.” I love this verse because it says that since the first time we heard the Word of Christ it has been growing larger and stronger all the time. It is no accident that we as humans always have a desire for more. More adventure, more people, more meaning, more money, more food, more creativity, more wisdom. The list could go on forever, but the point is you ARE created for MORE. In Jesus, dependently, more is not an insatiable word. More is what you were created for.

**********

Even if you have been a Christian for twelve years there are times when you have to abandon yourself to Jesus, again. If you are in a season in your life where your heart is always hurting and you feel un-satisfied. Give Jesus your heart and He will fill it up for you.

Men Doing Dishes ....

2011-01-25T11:24:00.000-06:00

[ Picture credit to the Karra Hill - and one of her little signs in her kitchen ]

Sunday morning Chris got up before me. Chris gets up before me almost every single day. It is because he loves me and knows that my type B personality loves knowing that when his alarm goes off I still get a few more minutes of sleep. What I love more is that Chris comes to wake me up instead of my alarm clock. One of the many benefits of being married to the sexiest man on earth, Chris Hill.

So, Sunday morning Chris got up before me and when I walked into the kitchen he was doing the dishes. It was one of the most romantic things I had ever seen in my life. Fireworks were going off, rose petals were falling from the sky, and I am pretty sure angels were singing.

I walked into the kitchen just as Chris was finishing drying the last dish and he handed me a cup of coffee and walked with me to the couch. Where we snuggled and had quiet times before church - and Chris might have started the last book in the Hunger Games.

Later on that day as Chris and I were trying to organize and unpack the last few boxes from our move. I got to thinking about why Chris doing the dishes was the most romantic things on earth...

I believe it is because Chris was serving me in a way that meant a lot to me. I love to cook which means I produce a large number of dirty dishes on a regular basis. Not only does Chris always love my food but he was showing that he is committed to encouraging me to cook - by doing the dishes. It is not necessarily the doing of the dishes that is the most romantic thing - it is the thought behind what caused him to do the dishes in the first place. He thought about me, thought about my time, thought about what I like to do, thought about what I had been doing, and simply wanted to bless me. Chris sacrificed what he wanted to do at 8:30 on a Sunday morning to serve me. That is what is so romantic and what makes me feel really safe as his wife.

It is also produced an atmosphere of honor in our house. It produced an atmosphere of honor in my heart. As his wife I am called to honor him and I most certainly try to do so. But there is something about how Chris served me Sunday morning that made me respect him even more than I already did. Chris serving me in the privacy of our own home when no one else knows about it makes me feel really safe and secure as his wife. But it also makes me feel safe and secure to serve and honor Chris in public because I know that he will never take advantage of me submitting to and sacrificing for him. I know that when I prefer and defer to him in public that I am doing so as a cherished and loved woman, and not as a dependent and opinion-less woman.

At my brother's engagement party the men were sitting in my Dad's office showing off their guns. I mean real live guns and not the muscles are their arms. I walked in and asked Chris if he needed me to bring him anything. This was a little scary for me because I was going out of my way to serve my husband in front of a lot of other men, and in the south sometimes men take it for granted that the women serve. But --- my husband is a hunk of a man and would never take me for granted or view me as the "southern servant" whose only purpose in life is to serve her man. Which is why I WANT to serve him and honor him - which in turn makes him want to serve and love me!

It is awesome and produces an amazing amount of respect and fun in our marriage.

Blue Gold

2011-01-23T10:13:00.000-06:00

I have coffee. I have 30 minutes til it's time to go to church. I am listening to the Live Horses EP from Needtobreathe. My wife is on the other end of the house getting ready for church. My WIFE is on the other end of OUR house getting ready. Will the fun of saying "my wife" and "our house" ever go away? I doubt it. (Perk of being a boy...I get ready in 10 minutes.)

I am a happy camper.

Want to know why else I'm a happy camper this morning? Well let me tell you.

BLUE GOLD

So I must preface and explain my hysteria/excitement this morning. My wife is obviously a very fashionable young woman. She always has been. Her effect on my fashion sense is unmistakable. It has been unmistakable since we started being "friends" back in the day. She freed me from the undershirt. She introduced me to the v-neck T.

Since we started dating the woman has been trying to get me into designer blue jeans. Every year, armed with Christmas or birthday money we would trek to some outlet in hopes that this would be the year.

Why do I sound so hopeless and dejected in channeling those old days? BECAUSE THEY WERE FREAKING MISERABLE.

"Why were they miserable, Chris?" you might ask...Why let me tell you.

Let's be honest. Most guys who wear designer blue jeans aren't built like your boy, Hill, here. As my friend, Wes Whitney, says, "Hill has redwood tree trunks for thighs and the back-end of a bull moose." Great for football and beating people up on the basketball court - one of my favorite pass-times - but not so great for trying to fit into that True Religion denim.

I am also 6'4" tall barefoot. Add the normal inch to inch and a half boots that I wear, and you have another problem. Seven only makes one length. Guess they only claim to make "Jeans for all Mankind" or I'm not a part of "Mankind". I'll let you decide.

Another issue. Despite the rather "linemanesque" lower-half that I manage, I have a fairly skinny waist - 34 or 36 tops. I REFUSE TO SAG. If, admittedly as a luxury, I use my bday or xmas money for this kind of jeans, is it too much to ask that they really fit? I didn't think so.

Hence, I had given up hope. I was done trying these jeans on. Ever. Lucky makes jeans that fit me fine. I was completely content to go with them from now on.

...and then the miraculous occurred...

Wes and Sheridan - best friends, partners in crime, etc - called and said that Wes had found these awesome Rock and Republic jeans at the Nordstrom Rack in Katy. Wes shares my same frustrations with these "people" who make these sort of jeans, and Sheridan has also had a rather obvious effect on his fashion/desired to get her man into some good lookin jeans.

Hope.

A gchat conversation later, Wes decided that I should come try the jeans on. They might fit me better, and there were more out there that he thought might be better suited to him.

OK. Hopes not to high there, Mr. Hill. Keep that excitement in check.

Yesterday, I tried them on. It was as if someone took measurements of me and then made jeans.

I am Christopher Carl Hill. I build fence, I know how to work cattle, I move large objects. I now own Rock & Republic jeans. Sometimes I find myself to be a strange blend of a person. Now would be one of those times, and yet I am perfectly comfortable with it.

Mikala and Luke Engaged :)

2011-01-20T18:24:00.001-06:00

My brother Luke proposed to his beautiful and wonderful girlfriend this past Saturday night. She said yes and she is now his fiance. Evan, Jeremy, Chris, and I get a new sister. Our family is beyond excited and feels so blessed.

Congratulations to you two :) --- you are loved and blessed. We are proud of you and cannot wait for you two to get hitched July of this year!

The Continuing Quest of an Aspiring Super Woman Wifie Mama

2011-01-18T10:25:00.001-06:00

It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.

Ephesians 1:11-12 The MSG

Have you ever asked yourself the question who am I? Or, have you ever asked yourself what your purpose is in this life? Have you ever struggled with the expectations that the culture around you puts on you?

Great! - I have struggled with these questions myself over the past couple of years. In fact I even have some blog posts to prove it to you:

No Mrs. Iron Pants

Bombs in your heart

God answers my questions to bombs in my hearts

I am no man

Super Woman Wifie Mama

Provision Instead of Pride

Believe me when I tell you that if I took a little bit more time to search through the archives of this blog I could find ten more posts about me searching for who I am supposed to be in life. I fought my own inner struggle concerning my own femininity, purpose in life, skill set, my role as a wife, and my future role as a mother.

I had no peace and always had this un-answered question clanking around in my heart. An un-answered question that shaped my perception of people, events, and what other people thought about me.

This past summer I was riding around in my car listening to Kevin Weaver, and God answered my question.

God always wants to answer your questions. It is usually a matter of you wanting to actually hear the answer.

God's answer came to me in several parts. The first part was realizing that I was proud. My pride manifested in my life out of my belief that God was not big enough to defend and provide for me, so I went around trying to defend and provide for myself. Underneath my pride was fear. Essentially I had things in my life that I wanted to protect at all costs. Things and dreams and expectations that I was willing to sacrifice anything for. This may be what some people in the bible might define as idols.

I was afraid that if I truly surrendered to God that he would make me do things that I really did not want to do, or give up things that I really did not want to give up.

This realization that I was proud shattered this wall I had put up around myself to protect myself, and I realized for the second time in my life how good God really is. God will defend me if I allow him to, and he most certainly will provide for me.

I had one of those out of body experiences where I saw myself working so hard to hold on to these dreams, expectations, perceptions, and things in my life. These dreams, expectations, perceptions, and things all had never been fully submitted to God. I had always told him what my will was and never asked for his assuming that because I had these dreams that they were his too.

I was like a starving child hunkered down over a piece of bread protecting it, while a kind a loving Father was trying to give me fields and fields of grain that would sustain me for a lifetime and more.

Riding around in the car that day changed my life. In a simple prayer and opening up my heart to hear God - He saved me from myself.

I have finally come to a moment in life where I have nothing and there is nothing that I would not be willing to give to God. This is one of those postures that must be submitted to God moment by moment in life.

In the last six months I have learned so much more about who I am because I am willing to just know God, and in return God is showing me who I am. As Paul suggests in the verses in Ephesians at the top of this blog: God has designed glorious living for us. All we have to do is seek him.

Once you have surrendered your dreams, expectations, things, and perceptions to God he will usually give you back the ones that He wants for you. Once God gives you something it is His responsibility to carry it out and your responsibility to know Him and obey Him. I find this to be AWESOME because God must provide the way for His promises.

I recently just got the book Having and Doing It all by Christine Caine which basically says by seeking God he will show you what your all looks like. When your all comes from God then He equips you do it and to have it.

The most unique and truest YOU can be found in Jesus. You just have to allow Jesus to show what is keeping you from going deep into Him

Such is the quest of an aspiring Super Woman Wifie Mama ..... along with my growing passion for making homemade pizza :)

ya know ... because that is part of who I am!

The Diamond H Ranch

2011-01-17T15:41:00.000-06:00

On January 1st we packed up the puppy and headed to the panhandle to see Chris's family.

This is the Diamond H Ranch mail box. Todd, my father in law and marketing expert, would never leave his mail box un branded. No mail box is complete with out its own customized camo over lay!

No ranch would be complete without its own baby wild boar either. Meet Spot - who was being babysat by Grandpa Toddy. Apparently Grandpa Todd would like some grandchildren!

My mother in law, Karra, has two stoves in her kitchen so she can adequately feed all the hungry cowboys. Her kitchen would not be complete without her own Diamond H brand in her back splash. Karra understands my love for kitchens and feeding people, so she lets me take over the kitchen whenever I come to visit. Her kitchen is a picture of perfect organization and I LOVE cooking in it.

Here is the view from the back door of the ranch house looking out over the north pastures.

Here is the back view of the ranch house. Todd and Karra added on about 2000 square feet to the old existing ranch house. The windows at the top are of the bunkhouse which sleeps about 15 people, or 15 future grandbabies.

This is the side of the front of the ranch house. Not the best picture but you get the idea.

The mantra of every ranch wife.

We celebrated Todd and Karra's 30th wedding anniversary by making them Boeuf Bourginion from Julie Child's cookbook. It took all day but it was worth it.

Prepping for the Boeuf

We made asparagus, roasted pearl onions, sauteed mushrooms, and mashed potatoes to go with the Boeuf.

This is Chris helping prepare the Boeuf.

We also got to help a first time mama cow give birth to her 125 pound son. It was an amazing experience and not nearly as gross as I thought it might be.

We had a wonderful time with Chris's family. Going to the Diamond H is like going on vacation. Cell phones do not work and there is always a perfect sunset.

This is was Giada's second visit to the ranch. She learned how to jump cattle guards, almost got killed by donkeys, almost got eaten by hungry mama cows, and learned how to go under fence. She also got to go to the lake and de-stuffed a stuffed animal. I would say she also had a great vacation.

Thank you for enduring my iphone pictures

my LOVE - challenged

2010-12-28T14:14:00.003-06:00

[ Disclaimer: This post is simply a result of some heart reflecting and does not have to do with anyone directly in our lives. In plainer words: no, no one has been mean to us. ]

This year Chris and I have probably gone to church less than either of us ever have in both of our lives combined. When we have gone to church we have even been asked if we are attending somewhere else.

"Why?" - you ask, maybe even slightly shocked.

Mostly because a lot of our friends have gotten married this year and one of us was usually in the wedding party. Weddings these days require a whole weekend and usually several before hand. We have been super blessed by these weddings. We have been even more blessed to see our friends enter amazing marriages. The big cherry on top of the all that is having more married couples to live life with.

Not attending a whole lot of community based worship had done three things to me. The first being that I am required to have Holy Spirit quiet times by myself. Quiet times have become more valuable because I have to seek the Lord myself and hear from Him myself or I will be completely empty. I have learned that in order to do that I have to be completely open and humble before God - which is really really hard to do. Secondly I have realized that I really really miss church and I cannot wait to get back involved and attend regularly.

Finally - I have begun to question some of my Christian based and culturally acceptable beliefs and actions. You see I grew up in Church and in a Christian family. I went to elementary in the early 90's. I am a product of focus on on family parenting.

I was taught in more ways than not to separate myself from the sins of this world. Which is a good thing for sure. But was I also taught to judge the sins of this world?

Never before in my life have I ever been so challenged to love the sick and hurting of this world. Never before in my life have I ever felt such compassion for those who do not know the true depth of Jesus's love for them. I have not (at least up until this moment of my life) ever been called to love the sick and dying of Africa, India, or Haiti. I have always always seen the sick and dying closest to me and felt the most for them. The ones in the poor neighborhoods that I occasionally drive by, or the ones I shop next to in the grocery store. I always think of the ones who might be in sexual slavery in the very city I live in. While this has been a huge awakening in me this year and I am still trying to work out how to love the orphaned poor here in Houston - something else has also caught my heart.

It is this: that we as American Christians are some of the most judgmental people on planet earth. Myself being the chief "judger" of them all. I started asking myself: Am I condemning more than I am loving? Am I more quick to call a Christian brother or sister out than to give them an encouraging word? Am I more quick to judge their actions than to try and understand their motivations?

Unfortunately the answer to most of these questions was yes.

The root cause of most of these terrible characteristics in me was pride and fear. My own pride and fear came out of believing in too small of a Jesus. A Jesus whose love was not big enough to cover my own inability and the inability of others. Thankfully my desperate quiet times yielded some good wisdom and love from Jesus who showed himself to be so much bigger and more capable than my human heart could imagine.

I have realized that my form of Christian love was so mean, so I had to change it out for a God kind of love that is beyond human understanding. This is no small or easy thing because it sometimes requires you to love even when you don't want to or even when you do not understand.

As Chris and I have grown up more this year we have encountered more circumstances that require more of this kind of love.

There are two specific categories where my love has had to grow:

1. People who knowingly sin and suffer the consequences and still need to be loved.
- Yes it might be their fault they are in the mess they are in, but I am not called to judge them. I am called to love them. If they ask for advice I can give it, but I am not called to condemn them. I am defined by Jesus who loves me so much he gave His life for me. Jesus never shunned these people. Jesus showed more love than the culture of the time had ever seen. The Church should be defined as such -- showing more love than the world has ever seen. Yet, the church is made up of people.

2. Christians who condemn others way more than they offer love.
- This is really where I get in trouble. My self-righteous flesh wants to go into butt kicking mode. There is quite possibly no one or nothing more mean in the world than a condemning Christian. A condemning Christian is afraid of sin and has too small of a view of God. A condemning Christian believes one must outlaw sin instead of receiving the grace to overcome sin. A condemning Christian lives by the law of legalism instead of the law of grace. Yet, a condemning Christian needs my love just as much as any other person does. When it comes down to it I am not called to condemn the condemning Christian EITHER - I am called to walk in God's empowering grace and love them TOO.

Man --- growing up in HARD. Kicking butt seems to be a lot easier :)

In essence this challenge to love is really all about faith. Do you believe God is big enough to cover all? Do you believe God is big enough to cover all the sin in the world and of the church? Do you believe God is big enough to cover differences in different theologies? Do you believe God is big enough to love all of who you are?

Faith comes by hearing the word of God or reading the word of God and acting out what it says. God never lets you down which why we build up our faith.

It is possible that Chris and I have some condemning Christians in our life. It is my challenge to show love to them in the hope that they see a much bigger God.

I feel this is a better option than a Jess ready to kick butt? I know my husband would agree, and probably my would Dad too.

So what does this have to do with not attending very much church? Being a little more outside of the church I have seen a little more what the church looks like (sometimes) to the outside world. I want the church to be a place where every sinner feels free to go. The church should be a place where every unmarried pregnant mother to be feels safe. A place where every divorcee finds peace. The Church as a whole should be so much more loving than the world. There are some churches that do this and there are some that don't. Unfortunately the world sees more of the churches and Christians who don't.

We must have a balance between encouraging people to live a grace filled life so they do not sin and accepting and loving those who do sin. While also calling out those in the church who refuge to stop sinning. While the perfect balance of these things seem impossible I believe it can be found in Jesus.

A Christmas Blend

2010-12-28T12:20:00.000-06:00

A List:
1. We are drinking Starbucks Christmas blend coffee right now. It is amazingly smooth and delicious. After you have tried many coffees you realize that some are good and some are amazingly drinkable. The Christmas Blend is amazingly drinkable. You will quickly find yourself pouring a second cup.

2. We had Christmas in Magnolia this year. It was fantabulous. One thing Christmas reminds me of on my side of the family is the severe shortage of girls. My Mom's brother's kids consist of 3 boys and a girl, and my Dad's brother's kids consist of 3 boys and girl. I also have three little brothers.

3. We spent Christmas Eve with my Mom's side of the family. Our tradition is to open one gift an hour until they are all un wrapped. In between each unwrapping we fill ourselves with all the wonderful food that continually comes out of the kitchen. We end the day with a vigorous round of Christmas bingo. Chris and I dominated again this year, but in true oldest child fashion gave one of our gifts to one of the younger kids.

4. Chris and I laid in bed Christmas Eve night and read the Christmas story to each other. This made me miss the Hill side of the family's special Christmas Eve tradition of reading the Christmas story as an entire extended family.

5. Christmas morning is spent with the just my immediate family. This year I made Pioneer Woman's cinnamon rolls and a special batch of gluten free rolls for my brother. I love this morning every year. We only let one person open one gift at a time to stretch it out as long as possible and to see what everyone got. The sibling love gets better every year. My brother's girlfriend got the boys nerf guns. Needless to say a huge nerf war quickly ensued.

6. We spend Christmas afternoon with my Dad's side of the family. I love this time because it is always super chilled. When we gather with this side of the family the testosterone levels always rise to incredible heights as we have 7 boys ranging from 15-26 all in the same room. My only girl cousin and I always manage to find a spot away from all the manliness.

7. We are leaving this Saturday to drive to the Diamond H ranch in Childress, TX to spend Christmas with Chris's family. I cannot wait to drink coffee on the couch with my Mother in Law (love) :)

8. I am babysitting my brothers great dane for a couple of days. Jack The Great Dane is my Giada's best friend in the whole world. She is completely in love with him and cannot be reasoned with in any way when he is here. Jack on the other hand is in love with Luke (my brother) and mopes around and cries when separated from him.

9. This Friday we have our last wedding of 2010. We will have officially attended 12 weddings this year. Chris being in at least 4 and I in one.

10. The weekend before Christmas was my birthday. Which was spent attending one graduation and two weddings. Chris still managed to squeeze in a cupcake party for me :)

Thou Mayest

2010-12-14T08:55:00.001-06:00

Remember this past summer when I decided to read East of Eden by John Steinbeck?

Several of our friends LOVE this book. It took me about two months to read this book because it is dense, man! It is jammed packed full of humanity making good and bad decisions and all the suspense that goes a long with that.

Once I finished the book I could not figure out why so many people loved the book. It was sad. It made people look sad. It had that whole Lord of the Flies thing happening where you finished the book questioning if you were inherently evil or inherently good.

The entire point of the book just straight up hit me in the face several months after I finished reading it.

The point is this: In the book Lee discusses the verse in Genesis where God is responding to Cain after God rejects his sacrifice but accepts Able's. Genesis 4:6-7 So the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? ⁷ If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”

Steinbeck figures out, after talking to some Jewish Rabbi, the Hebrew meaning for the word "should". The word is timshel and basically means "thou mayest". The last phrase in verse 7 means "thou mayest rule over it". Steinbeck implies in the book that this verse in Genesis means we have free will choice over sin - even though sins desire is for us.

[ Please make note this is Steinbeck's rendering of a Jewish Rabbi's understanding of Hebrew ]

Nevertheless, the point Steinbeck is making is awesome and terrible at the same time. God gave us free will to either choose good or choose evil. Which means when we stand before God one day we will be judged for the CHOICES we make. We will not be judged for the choices other people make or how their choices affected us. We will be judged for how we CHOOSE to react to the CHOICES other people make.

You might be wondering why this applicable to my life right now? It is always applicable to my life at every moment, but I have been considering it more this morning. Do you remember me telling you that when I was a freshman in college that God spoke the words Vulnerably Dependent to me? I have come to realize that vulnerably dependent means that you choose to be dependent on God and not on yourself or other people. In theory this makes a lot of sense and in practice this a very hard thing to do.

I think God takes us through various levels of dependence on Him as we grow to trust Him more. Meaning that one person's dependence on God can look very different from another person's dependence on God at any given time.

This past weekend I was talking to one of my single girlfriends who bravely came to the Lone Star Marina's Christmas party called Sausage Fest. We make Sausage. At this party it is safe to say that about 98% of the people are married, engaged, or seriously dating. So my friend coming and enjoying herself is a big deal. One of the first things I learned to do after God started speaking to me about being Vulnerably Dependent was to fall completely in love with Him. Instead of freaking out about fearing that I would never get married, or getting over some boy, or dating some boy - God let me choose to fall head over heels in love with Him. In doing so I learned to trust God with all the desires of my heart regarding marriage.

I told my friend that this is the secret to finding the person that God has for you. I told her that the most attractive thing you can do is to choose to fall in love with Jesus, and that as you do that a beauty will be released in you that is unparalleled on this earth.

These days my version of being Vulnerably Dependent is trusting that God will qualify me to do what He is calling me to do. God has called me to write. I am pretty sure it is safe to say that nothing has ever terrified me more than being calling to write. In learning to be dependent on God in this area of my life I am learning what true humility really looks like. Without Jesus speaking through me my words really and truly do not mean that much.

I am trying to tell you this morning that I am in one of those moments between choices. I am either going to choose to obey God and sit down at my computer and allow him to write through me, or I am going to figure out every single other way to fill my time and never find time to write.

I want to choose to write. I just have to decide that I will no matter what I feel like doing. It is my choice and I want to steward my free will to the best of my ability.

What choices are facing you today? Do you trust God enough to choose the best choice He has for you?

He just walked right on in.

2010-12-04T08:39:00.000-06:00

I am sitting here on my couch with coffee and small puppy (though not quite that small anymore :) ) beside me, and I am an extremely happy camper.

You see, here's the thing, I love being right here. Ok, I love drinking coffee with the puppy, but more than that, I love writing. For the last two months or so we were in the barn I had the worst case of writer's block. I would want to write, but simply had nothing that pulled me into writing. (That was very strange and frankly awful for me.)

Now we are moved into our first home, and the transformation has been fairly amazing in my life. I now drive a scant 11 mins and 30 seconds into work instead of 45 minutes on a good day. HEB, Costco, Freebirds, Five Guys, and Lowe's are all within 5 minutes of the house. I can see friends any night of the week that we want to without having to drive an hour. It is so wonderful, such a blessing from the Lord, and my heart is happy here with my small wifey (Who is currently sleeping in the other room still. She is a super cute sleeper.).

So lately, I find myself with another sort of conundrum. I drive to and from work or to run and errand for said small wife, and I keep getting flooded with things to write about. Good? Yes, absolutely. Bad also. Why? Because I'm in the car with no "writing" option.

Summary of this thought: I have got to find a way to record these ideas for future scribbling because Jesus put this writing bug in my heart. Whether done poorly or well at this point, it is something that I love to do and something that God continues to draw up.

So, without further adue, I have a very firm recommendation for each and every one of you out there who likes good music.

Wes, Sheridan, Jess, and I all went to the Needtobreathe show at House of Blues (great venue btw) the other night expecting to see a great show from them. Luke Friesen's little bro, Toby, is currently playing keys and a little guitar for them, and they went even harder than we had expected them to. Expectations surpassed. Well done, gents, and your heart matches. Too fun.

What we did not expect:

The Daylights

Opened for NTB. I was floored. They were good. Huge sound for a three piece gig.

Then all of the sudden they play this song called Weapons (on myspace page).

I have no explanation for what happened at that point, but all I know is that out of the clear blue I felt God's presence just walk into the room. It was marked, and it was unmistakable. (Also rather fantastic. I mean, how cool is Jesus? "Yea, sure, let me waltz into this House of Blues bar and show up at a concert that is not branded as 'Christian'.") For the record, He stayed the rest of the show through NTB. It was so much fun to worship to Something Beautiful with my hands held high.

I know this: When a band is good, and God's hand is on them like that, they are someone worth getting behind.

Summary of band/concert thoughts: If you trust me or Wesley Charles Whitney at all about bands, buy The Daylights CD on iTunes or Amazon, give it two spins, and you'll be hooked. Great lyrics and a sound that is plum stuck in my head.

OK, I'm off to my favorite pastime - basketball. Hope you laughed.

Mr. Hill

{Whatever you say I will do}

2010-11-30T11:49:00.000-06:00

Ruth 3:1-5 AMP

1THEN NAOMI her mother-in-law said to Ruth, My daughter, shall I not seek rest or a home for you, that you may prosper?
2And now is not Boaz, with whose maidens you were, our relative? See, he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor.

3Wash and anoint yourself therefore, and put on your best clothes and go down to the threshing floor, but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking.

4But when he lies down, notice the place where he lies; then go and uncover his feet and lie down. And he will tell you what to do.

5And Ruth said to her, All that you say to me I will do.

Luke 1:35-38 AMP

35Then the angel said to her, The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you [like a shining cloud]; and so the holy (pure, sinless) Thing (Offspring) which shall be born of you will be called the Son of God.(A)

36And listen! Your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is now the sixth month with her who was called barren.

37For with God nothing is ever impossible and no word from God shall be without power or impossible of fulfillment.

38Then Mary said, Behold, I am the handmaiden of the Lord; let it be done to me according to what you have said. And the angel left her.

Today this is my theme.

Lord, all that you say to me I will do.

Is is scary, but I know it is the highest good.

She resisted a wild craving

2010-11-17T11:55:00.000-06:00

Last night I wanted ice cream real bad. The kind of real bad where you can imagine what it tastes like and you are imagining ordering lots of extra chocolate, caramel, and almonds on top.

Unfortunately I had not one single item in my house that even slightly resembled a dessert. That is if you don't count the the organic cliff z bars for kids.

Even though Chris and I now live near civilization and could actually drive to Marble Slab and be back at the house in 20 minutes ---- I resisted. I did not leave and go get ice cream at 8:30 at night.

I just needed to let y'all know that I was a little proud of myself.

But please --- give all the credit to my husband who convinced me that laying with him on the couch was way more satisfying than ice cream. Also note that I am still thinking about the ice cream.

Decorating excitment

2010-11-04T10:18:00.001-05:00

So I have a decorator.

I am really excited. It is Liz from A Little Peace of Home and later on this afternoon we are going shopping at some of her favorite stores.

She came over this previous Monday and we went room by room trying to capture a vision. I love decorating but I feel completely lost while doing it. I cannot tell you how awesome it is to have someone there with you who knows what you want to do and knows how to help you accomplish it.

Decorating is Liz's passion and you can tell because she is excellent at it and knowledge just seeps out of her.

The excitement cannot be contained!

P.S. Part two of the Addition Creates the Big Picture blog will be coming later on today!

Addition creates the big picture

2010-11-03T16:50:00.002-05:00

Hi :)

It is finally cold here in Houston. It rained for the first time in about six weeks and the rain brought the cold. Houston's cold is unlike many places in the world. Houston has humidity. Humidity + cold = bone chilling. A Houston 45 degree day with humidity is absolutely frigid - almost unbearable. A Denver, Colorado 45 degree day is beautiful and requires only a long sleeve t-shirt. Humidity --- it's a game changer. Humidity, a small factor in the greater scheme of things, when added with several other elements completely changes the big picture. It's the little things .....

I was talking with one my good friends this past weekend in Dallas about what it looks like to completely abandon oneself to God on a day to day basis. She was asking and wondering, same as me, what that looked like and where are the women in this world that are good examples of this. I was just as equally stumped as her as to how to answer this question.

In the past year or so I read Francine Rivers biography on her website. In in she states the each of her books that she has written is her trying to figure out a question in her life. The book is a result of her looking at all the possible answers and allowing God to guide her to something more concrete. This little tidbit of information has kind of just living inside of me for awhile, and this week it came back to my mind.

The past three days have been somewhat of "doozies" for me and Chris. I cannot go into all the details because some of the situations involve people other than me and Chris. As I said in my last post we have recently just bought a house and are in the throws of putting it together. The thing is we have only been in town one weekend since we moved in! Since we moved into Houston, i.e. civilization, we have had the opportunity to hang out with lots of people that we usually do not get to see very often. This is great and wonderful and everything I wanted - it is just my house and my life are not all wrapped up with pretty bows on them. I still have boxes to unpack, mini blinds to hang, furniture to buy, closets to organize, grass to mow, and lots of things in the house to fix. So take a new house that needs fixing, going out of town a ton + not having a lot of alone time + lots of ends left untied + un-fun people situations and you get: A Chris and Jess duo who are tired and running a little emotionally thin.

The amazing thing is God has grown the two of us up enough to have peace in these "not so perfect" times which has been pretty mind opening. I have realized that you can have trials in your life and still maintain peace, joy, and stability. The way you do this is to lean on God everyday --- you decide to abandon yourself to Him on a moment by moment basis.

This morning I had just come to a place where I did not anything left inside of me to give. I had a good cry and called my friend Julie and she prayed for me. I then sat down with my bible and remembered what Francine Rivers had said in her biography --- that basically these great masterpiece novels that she has written are the result of her having unresolved questions in her life and her allowing God to answer them. So I straight up asked God -- What does it look like to completely abandon myself to you, everyday?

For so long I wanted this answer to be one of those ground breaking, light bulb lighting, earth shattering realizations that completely change you instantly. But, for some reason this morning I was ready to receive the completely normal and non-earth shattering answer God had for me. It is this: abandoning yourself to God everyday means that you choose God in every single situation.

How do you do this practically? John gives a good description in 1 John 2:4-6 " If someone claims, "I know him well!" but doesn't keep his commandments, he's obviously a liar. His life doesn't match his words. But the one who keeps God's word is the person in whom we see God's mature love. This is the only way to be sure we're in God. Anyone who claims to be intimate with God ought to live the same kind of life Jesus lived" (The MSG). The great big picture that we all see down the road, the big picture we are all aiming for, to get to the end of life and have God say "well done good and faithful servant" is made up of many little decisions that many times no one even knows about.

Abandoning myself to God is a choice that I make each and every day. It means that I read the bible whether I feel like it or not. It means that I memorize scripture so that I have some good solid ground to stand on when my emotions start becoming a hurricane inside of me. It means making decisions about how I am going to react to certain situations before they even happen. It means having people people in my life that also live out God's word and can speak God's word into my life. It means applying God's word to my life and not JUST reading it.

Practically and applicably (because I mean what's all this if it does not apply to the really really small things):
1. Choosing to get up early enough or making time at the end of the day to read the word
2. Believing God's truth when the enemy starts lying to me about myself and my life. Example: Two weeks ago we had a plumbing issue in our house and my thoughts started running wild. Thoughts like: We chose the wrong house, nothing can go right, I am never going to get all the furniture I want, I am going to have poop floating down my hall way, I want to scream and cry and have a nervous breakdown. As many of you girls know these thoughts happen a lightning speeds and your emotions quickly follow. So in the course of about 20 seconds you are in the great blue funk and hysterical. BUT - in that moment I CHOSE to not believe ANY of those thoughts and to take each thought captive into the obedience of Chris [2 Corinthians 10:5]. Guess what? I did not have a nervous breakdown and was calm and peaceful and absolutely everything with the plumbing was fixed about $45.
3. Disciplining myself to do things that my flesh absolutely does not want to do but is good for me like: getting enough sleep, eating right, exercising, having wise counsel around me, cleaning the house, being productive ......
4. Deciding to not compare myself to other people or care what they think. I found that if I start caring what other people think about me and my life then I start isolating myself from people ... and that is not what I want. I want to love people and people generally want some lovin! Practical application: Having people over at my new house when it is not decorated or something is broken and being confident about it and welcoming them into my home.

It is when you start adding up all these small decisions that the big picture starts looking really great. All of these small victories give us momentum for the really big decisions and situations in life. This is not at all one those romantic truths that sounds good and you quote on facebook, but it is real and it works! Do not receive these things in legalism like I most certainly would have several years ago. Everything must be done out of love for and out of reverence of God. When you do these things BECAUSE you love God and BECAUSE you want to know Him more and be more like Him is when these small battles reveal their great importance in your life!

"We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us." Collosians 1:12 The MSG

love the blog novel writer,

CHANGE --- that we love :)

2010-10-25T12:36:00.000-05:00

Howdy y'all :)

Are you enjoying these October days? I hope yours are filled with lots of pumpkin bread and changing leaves. We are still enduring temperatures in the mid to upper eighties down here in Houston. I am longing to wear my boots but it is just still too hot!

It has been since September 6 since I last updated you with my "thoughts". This is because "life" has gotten in the way of me having too many "thoughts" so I shall give you an update of our "life" and maybe one day my "thoughts" will come back to the blog!

For your viewing pleasure....
The Hill House 2010 Event Calendar has looked a lot like this:

1. Hosted Matt and Lauren Sloan's engagement party and subsequent LSM New Year Barn retreat
2. Joy and Eric getting married
3. Houston Rodeo
4. Leaza and Jon getting married
5. Kyle and Jana getting married
6. Chris spraining his ankle and missing warrior dash which gave us a much coveted weekend at home
7. Natalie and Jonathan getting married
8. Our two year wedding anniversary spent staying at the Westin Galleria, shopping, and eating.
9. Chris having 200 bachelor parties to attend
10. Evan and Chris attending a Larry Titus men's retreat and getting their lives changed - while Julie and I hung out at the barn and bonded
11. Angela and Tommy getting married
12. Sheridan, Wes, Jana, & Kyle spending 4 days with us at the Barn for the 4 of July
13. Going to Dallas and staying at the Westin at the airport and hanging with Larry & Devi Titus
14. Michael Fermier and Danielle coming to stay the weekend
15. Going to Boca Raton Florida with Chris's parents for a week --- spent getting massages, laying out, and eating
16. Lauren and Matt Sloan getting married
17. LSM Men's Retreat --- Julie and I also hung out at the barn and did fun things around Houston
18. Daniel and Jenny getting married
19. Making an offer on a house in Houston
20. Going on a cruise with 3 of our favorite couple friends
21. Going to Lubbock to see our friend Lauren and Jason's new baby
22. Coming back from Lubbock to find out that we will close TWO WEEKS EARLY on the House we had made the offer on
23. Packing and moving into a new HOUSE that we bought and love
24. Flying to Detroit where Chris got ordained and we did a little exploring
25. Chris's sister coming to stay with us at the new house
26. Realizing that we no longer live at the Barn and can see people during the week and stay up to 10:30 if we want to
27. The plumbing system in our house backing up and Chris and Wes fixing it all by themselves!
28. Chris and Wes painting the house while Sheridan and I attended Alyssa and Austin's wedding!

I just felt like y'all needed to know what is going on in our lives so you can catch back up with me as I fill all of you in with my thoughts on all these crazy events in our lives! We feel like in the last two months God has pushed the GO button in our lives. After spending a quiet year in the barn this is a wonderful change. A change that is happening very quickly.

Events still on the calendar:
1. Jess and Mikala possibly starting a new business
2. Decorating my new house :)
3. Attending the Goodwins Halloween Party
4. Seeing Allie Maultsby and Charles get married in Dallas (and getting to see Shaina)
5. Celebrating Luke, Mikala, and Heritage getting their Aggie Rings
6. Thanksgiving
7. My parents' Christmas party
8. Sausage Fest
9. My birthday
10. Geoff and Erin get married
11. Laura and Tom get married
12. Christmas
13. Emily Staff and Jaime get married
14. New Years

WHEW :) Now you are all caught and I can start blogging again and we can pick up where we left off! Which was the Fall TV schedule --- which in fact we have had absolutely NO TIME to maintain :)

Fall TV

2010-09-03T12:10:00.000-05:00

It was not until I got married that I became a regular TV watcher. During high school and college my schedule was constantly changing and I just simply did not watch a whole lot of TV. In fact I really had no idea how other people watched so much TV. Marriage and working does this whole number on the spontaneity of life which in return allows for regular TV watching.

There is also this weird honeymoon phase of marriage after your actual honeymoon where it is quite possibly the most romantic thing to sit on the couch together and watch TV and grow fat. You just want to sit there with your honey and snuggle right in front of the Tube. Everything else lessens in comparison to the complete joy it is to watch TV with your new spouse knowing that neither of you have to drive home after your show ends. I think it is comparable to the first semester of college when you realize that your mom will not be waiting up for you in your dorm room, and the only things keeping you from not coming home at 4:00 in the morning is some sense of responsibility that she constantly tried to instill in you for 18 years.

All of this being said I am still somewhat ashamed of our TV schedule. I used to make fun of people who categorized TV like this, but hey people change and now I am one of them! This is more of wish list that really only Hulu and DVR can truly fulfill. Here is what we in the Hill House like to watch on TV:

Please add in copious amounts of foodnetwork and the occasional 30 Rock!

Great kitchens :)

2010-09-02T15:26:00.000-05:00

I love to cook. This is not a secret. Whenever I have any type of gathering in my kitchen I cook up a storm and force them to eat whether they want to or not. This previous weekend we had 5 couples stay with us because of Daniel Weizel's wedding. As soon as we walked into the door post wedding I adorned an apron and made two prosciutto pizzas. Everyone thought I was working too hard but really I just could not give up the opportunity of having so many people gathered around in my house not eating! So thank you everyone who I forced pizza upon at 12:15 in the morning!

I love to cook and I am SHORT - like 5'2 short. When I found this kitchen below on one of my favorite blogs I want that kitchen I knew I just had to show y'all. Below is a kitchen equipped with ladders. It is a beautiful thing! One day I would LOVE to have this kitchen. Until then I will have to continue to ask my tall 6'4 husband to get things down for me that I cannot reach!

Me

2010-08-31T10:03:00.000-05:00

Who I, Jessica Hill, want to be.

Me. I want to be the me God designed me to be. Unfortunately the only thing in the way is me.

I want to be a hot and sexy wife who loves, supports, and trusts her husband. I want to be a fun and loving Mommy who is always there for her kids. I want to be an inspiring writer whose only desire is to please Jesus. I want to be an adventurous cook who feeds lots of family and friends. I want to be healthy and fit. I want to live the life God designed me to live.

God put me here on this earth so that I could know Him, bring Him glory, and serve His purposes.

El Yum: What to Eat?

2010-08-09T11:39:00.000-05:00

Ever have trouble deciding what you want to eat for breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Ever find your self going to the grocery store with out a plan, and then buying lots of food and then coming home and still not have anything to make for dinner? Do you ever feel frustrated and wonder why in the world we have to eat anyways?

I have to admit that when I first got married I was totally overwhelmed with the whole cooking all the time and feeding a large man thing. Sometimes today I get tired of cooking the same old thing and run out of inspiration to be creative, quick, and clean in the kitchen. But living in the Barn out in Magnolia will cure you of this dreadful "What to Eat" disease pretty quick because if you have no dinner to make then well you may have to drive 45 minutes round trip to the nearest chick-fil-a. My friends when you are so hungry that you are angry --- known as "hangry" --- then waiting 45 minutes to eat is a long time. Especially if you have already wasted 1.5 hrs trying to come up with dinnerr at home!

When I first got married I worked a couple months at our "local" Anthropologie where I discovered this "What to Eat" meal planning pad for about $8. This pad helped me to get inspired to plan my meals and write my grocery list down. Mostly because it was from Anthro and it was cute! It Turned out to a pretty good plan because it has been keeping me sane for about a year and half now. I live by it!

On Sundays after church I sit down at our big kitchen table and take out my pad. I first think of what our scheduled will be for the week and if I know we will eat out one day I go ahead and write that down. I consult with the Hubby Bubby to see if he needs me to make him lunch all five days that week or just a few. I then ask him if there is anything he wants me to make him for dinner that week, and usually he just tells me he loves everything I cook and he is positive I can come up with something.... ha! After that I try and think of anything that I want for dinner off the top of my head and write that down. Then I start recipe searching - blogs, cookbooks, or inspiration from the foodnetwork or something yummy I ate at a restaurant the previous week.

I have found that some of the best recipes are the ones that you try and re-create from one of your favorite restaurant meals.

Once you have got all your meals down then it is time to check your fridge and pantry to see what you got before you make your grocery list. I then flip over this piece of paper and make my list on the back of it. I list what store I am going to and what I need from there along with any other "wifely" errands I might need to make that week. That way everything I need to do is on that sheet of paper.

What I find MOST helpful with my little system is that by the time Wednesday has rolled around and I am exhausted or have had an extremely long hard day dinner has already been decided for me. This greatly helps the "Oh I will just pick up take out on the way home" disease because everything you need to make for dinenr is already at home and in your fridge.

Now for some recipes from around the Web that I love:

1. Mexican Hummus

2. Chicken Pastina

3. Black Bean Quinoa

4. Southwest Chili with Corn (I use ground Turkey)

5. Chicken Pot Pie

6. BBQ Roasted Salmon

7. Anything from this blog - They taught me to put pesto on Sandwiches ( can you say EL Yum? )

8. Cuban Braised Beef

These are just a few to get your mind rolling. Later on I will post everything I can think of to do with chicken!

Vulnerably Dependent: Simplified

2010-07-09T11:46:00.000-05:00

My freshman year of college God dropped these two words into my heart during Breakaway.

Vulnerably Dependent.

You see I needed to break up with this boy and God wanted me to be Vulnerably Dependent on Him. But I resisted and the consequences were not awesome.

Graciously Jesus still loved me even though I chose not to listen to Him. Throughout the whole summer, after the break up and after I decided to pursue Jesus with all I had, God constantly kept those two words on my mind and heart.

Over the past 5 or 6 years God has taken lots of experiences in my life and used the term Vulnerably Dependent to help me understand them and help me to realize what he wanted from me.

Vulnerable Dependence on Him in every way of my life.

There is a huge obstacle that can keep you from being vulnerably dependent on Jesus. Pride.

The scary thing about pride is that God resists the proud. His spirit literally cannot be around pride. Pride and God are like two ends of a magnet that repel each other. The ugly thing about pride is that more often than not pride convinces you that you are in fact not proud.

You see I recently discovered that I had a whole lot of pride in my life. I mean every single stinking area of my life. You can see pride in your life if you feel like you have to promote yourself or protect yourself all the time. We do those things basically because we believe that God is not good enough to do those things for us.

Chris and I have been listening to these podcasts by Kevin Weaver and last week while I was riding in the car and listening to them I realized how much pride I have in my life. I realized how this must be grieving God and causing Him to have to resist me in SO many areas of my life. In a sweet and tender moment I repented and asked for forgiveness. I submitted all my pride to Jesus. It was an instant heart change. My life has totally been different from that incredible moment.

I became Vulnerably Dependent believing God is good and that I can trust Him always. It did not take some catastrophe or a huge amount of breaking for God to do this. He gave me the opportunity and my heart responded and I instantly became a changed person while driving in the car.

God simply wants to be first in your life in absolutely every area. He wants you to know that he is good enough to protect you, promote you, and know what is best for you.

El Yum: MMPs - Mustard Mashed Potatoes

2010-07-09T11:09:00.001-05:00

Last night I did something epic.

On a whim and because I did not have any horseradish I put mustard into the mashed potatoes.

I had a craving for steak, so I marinated two big fat juicy new york strips. I also happened to have some fingerling potatoes and some green beans. I washed the fingerling potatoes and put them in water and boiled 'em up skin and everything.

For some reason I was craving horseradish yesterday, but there was none in a 15 mile radius around me so I had to come up with something. Mustard was the something.

I added to my mashed fingerlings:

1 tbls of mustard (the grainy kind)

1/4 cup of sour cream

3-5 tbls of butter

1/3 cup of milk

salt and freshly ground pepper ( a lot)

2 dashes of garlic salt

The freshly ground pepper and the grainy mustard did something together. Whatever it was, it was good.

The Barn, Chris & Jess, Friends, & Photography

2010-07-09T10:52:00.001-05:00

Hi.

I used to take pictures.

At this present moment in my life I do not take pictures.

I would very much like to remedy this situation by doing two things.

1. Getting a camera that works well and takes good pictures.
2. Having one of my photographer friends teach me how to actually use the camera.

You see we have had lots of wonderful people over to the Barn these last few weeks and I have absolutely not one single picture to document the occasions! Isn't that terrible?

We had Kyle and Jana over to spend the night several weeks ago. Then the next night we made pizza for Silva and Stephen. Then Wednesday through Monday Sheridan and Wes stayed with us and we cooked everything imaginable. Then Saturday morning Kyle and Jana came and stayed with us until Monday. Friday and Saturday I was also in Angela Mattix's gorgeous and fabulous wedding. Sunday night Natalie and Jonathan had all six of us (Me, Chris, Sheridan, Wes, Kyle, and Jana) over for 4th July salmon, fireworks, and swimming.

All these amazing wonderful people. All that amazing and wonderful food. And not one single picture to document any of it. SO much sadness.

We need to remedy this :)

What's the deal, man?

2010-07-09T09:40:00.001-05:00

The deal, man, is this: About 4 weeks ago I got a big spider bite on the back my leg, also known as the upper thigh.

This is what happened. It was a Friday afternoon and I had gotten off work a little early. Which is extremely typical in the oil business. We were having Chelsea and Stephen Morris over for dinner and their pointer puppy Reese. You see their pointer puppy is a 7th generation bird dog who comes from a long line of award winners. This was a big deal you see because our mutt pointer puppy also wants to be a bird dog and I wanted both dogs to fetch stuffed birds out of the pond.

I went to petsmart and bought two stuffed chickens suitable for water fetching. I also bought some mosquito fogger at HEB because it is like the swamp land out in Magnolia right now and I knew if we wanted to spend anytime outside I needed to fog for mosquitoes.

Picture me in a purple sundress with a dish towel wrapped around my face fogging for mosquitoes around the pond. I had full make up on and curled hair. While I was fogging I was also picking up a few dog toys out in the front yard. I picked up G's A&M Frisbee and found about 10 brown spiders underneath. Normal people would be afraid and run away, but apparently I am not normal. I absolutely HATE snakes, frogs, and lizards. Spiders and bugs don't bother me too much, so I just sprayed them with the bug killer and stepped on a few with my Steve Madden sandal and moved on.

Apparently I messed with the wrong spiders because they decided to mess with me. The scary thing about spiders is you do not know when they bite you. When I got undressed for bed that night I noticed this huge whelp on the back of my leg, and I thought to myself man those mosquitoes are getting bigger by the year. Thankfully I rubbed some tea tree oil on the back of my leg which I really think helped it from not taking over my entire leg.

The next morning Chris and I got up about 7:45 in the morning because I wanted to run. I put on my running clothes and went down stairs to find Chris drinking coffee and having his quiet time. By this time the back of my leg was hurting pretty badly and I had about a 5 inch by 3 inch bright red hard whelp which was surround by a massive pink circle that encompassed the entire back of my leg.

STILL I was unfazed. I showed Chris, "Look, honey, at the back of my leg. Don't you think that is cool? Ok, I am going to go running now."

Chris:"What do you think happened, dear? "

Jess: "Well, it must be a spider bite. I saw some brown spiders yesterday and I stepped on a couple and sprayed them with mosquito fogger. I am going to go running now."

Chris: "Please go get in the car we are going to the emergency room."

Jess: "I really don't think that is necessary. I will just rub some benadryl on it, and it will be fine. I am going to go running now."

Chris: "Do you know what a brown recluse looks like?"

Jess: "No, I have never heard of one. I am going to go running now".

Chris: "GET IN THE CAR."

Jess: "I have not had any coffee yet, we cannot go to the emergency room."

Chris calls his Dad and my Mom and determines that he is going to take me to my Dad's doctor in Tomball who happens to take walk-ins on Saturday morning. Chris puts me in the car with my pink Nike mug full of coffee.

Jess: "I am just going to go running real quick and then you can take me to all the emergency rooms you want to."

Chris's Dad had just sent him an email about brown recluses, so Chris was majorly concerned that I had got bitten by a big bad spider. But he would not tell me what brown recluses did to you so I was completely clueless and was unconcerned.

We get to the doctor in Tomball and they take one look at my leg, which is throbbing and hurting really bad by this time, and send me straight back to see the doctor.

The doctor comes in and takes a good look at my upper thigh and says ....

Doctor: "If you had waited until Monday I would have had to put you in the hospital."

Jess: Blank Stare

Doctor: "You do not need surgery. You do not need to get anything cut out. You do not need to get anything drained. But it looks at though you have a massive infection on the back of your leg. We will never know what kind of spider bit you, although it does not look like a brown recluse because you still have the flesh on that back on your leg."

Jess: "Brown recluses take the flesh of your leg?"

Chris: breathing deep sighs of relief and texting all family members and friends who are worried.

Doctor: "So I am going to give you two massive antibiotics, hydrocodine, and two ointments. If your leg is still red on Monday then I will have to admit you to the hospital to put you on a drip."

Jess: "I hate antibiotics. Is it absolutely necessary for me to take those?"

Doctor: "Well spiders tend to have nasty things in their mouth which apparently this spider transferred to you. You are either fighting strep or staff, so it is really important that we kill the infection."

At this point I realized that this spider bite was a big deal and conceded that I would take the antibiotics.

Chris sweetly takes me to CVS and gets my prescriptions, then he takes me to the organic farmers market in Tomball, and then gets me Chick Fil A.

I go home and take the antibiotics. The antibiotics make me feel SO bad that all I can do is lay on the couch. I could not work the first 3 days of that week and could only work half days the last two days of the week. It was SUPER terrible. But the antibiotics worked and the back of my leg is totally fine.

Needless to say the spider bite threw me off my game and blogging became the last thing that needed to be done. So please forgive me. I promise to catch y'all up on everything we have been doing these last few weeks.

What dreams are made of

2010-06-08T11:36:00.000-05:00

Dreams are made up of amazingly designed and functional kitchens. Kitchens that will house families. Kitchens that inspire cooking. Kitchens that keep families together. Kitchens outfitted with the largest kitchen tables possible. Forget that large dinning room table. Put it in the kitchen. Conversations will be started. Lives will be changed.

I really like the idea of this kitchen:

I like this kitchen because it is organized functionally and not perfectly. There is a MASSIVE difference. Kitchens will stay clean if they are organized functionally, and cooking will be done with smiles and ease.

I am not a perfectionist. I am not an organizer. I have fully embraced this about myself. I always wanted to be one of those OCD perfectionist because everything they had and did was always so clean. But as time told I realized that I was the opposite of this personality. I like functional, comfortable, realistic organization.

The kitchen pictured above is definitely not designed perfectly. There needs to be some serious counter top space to the right and left of the gas stove. But I love the feel of this kitchen. Meals are made in this kitchen. Family and friends gather and talk in this kitchen.

The wifie mama orchestrates the home from this kitchen. It is awesome. One day I will have my dream kitchen. One day.

Love

2010-06-08T10:55:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was our two year anniversary.

We spent the weekend celebrating at the Westin Galleria Hotel.

On Friday night we ate at Star Pizza, and we watched Sherlock Holmes.

On Saturday morning we had french pressed coffee in bed.

We also celebrated at Nordstroms and J Crew.

( this was Chris's first shopping experience at Nordstroms, and his life is forever changed)

We laid out by the hotel pool.

We then ate at La Vista

I ate this:

And we drank this:

The we went back to the hotel and watched It's Complicated.

The next morning we slept late and drank more french pressed coffee in bed and had wonderful conversations about life.

We determined that year two of marriage brings with it a comfortableness with each other that year one simply does not have. You simply trust one another so much more.

We then went and ate at Yao Ming's Chinese restaurant for lunch.

Chris wore this:

And I drank some of this:

All is all it was the most fantastic Houston weekend.

It is amazing how you can spend the whole weekend with the person you are most in love with, and then still miss them when they go to work on Monday morning.

How I met Mr. Hill: Edition 3

2010-06-03T10:54:00.001-05:00

I believe this weekend Mr. Hill will be giving his side of the story on how we met. So stay tuned ....

I will continue with my side :)

As I remember we had this amazing conversation where I was rendered speechless and light headed and Lauren Lust had declared to the world that I would marry this man Chris Hill.

You see Lauren Lust, Wes Whitney, and Daniel Weizel all had this communication class together that particular semester. It is also possible that the beautiful Sheridan Murphy also had that class with them. Sheridan let me know if this was the same class! I believe the very next day as I was getting off the bus on campus all three of them ran up to me, accosted me, and told me that I was going to marry Chris Hill. Then they ran off and left me standing there bewildered and a little angry.

The next three weeks were all quite interesting. Later on that same week Kristi and Lauren sabataged me at the Chi O house with Chris in tow. I tried to act a little aloof but I was already totally smitten. Chris and I began talking on instant messenger. Yeah - we totally exchanged AOL im names. My username shall remain a secret forever and ever.

Chris and I started talking via the computer and facebook and email. Then I invited the entire Lone Star Verde over for Fratty Friends Friday at the sorority house. This is week two after Chris and I had our three hour conversation. We served pizza that Friday and it was a ton of fun. Chris stayed after to talk to me as I was having a few problems with Mr. Boy from freshman year.

You see during this whole two week period of Chris and I recognizing that each other existed in the world. Mr. Boy from freshman year had come back on the scene and thought that he wanted to date me again. I was so very confused, and feeling lots of pressure to make a decision about which boy to choose. This particular Friday marked the weekend before I was so to have FIVE tests the following week. In fact ALL FIVE test fell on the Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of that next week.

I was feeling a little pressured by Mr. Boy and feeling TONS of pressure about my tests. I sat Chris down in the sorority house and told him about all of my troubles. He instinctively gave me some great advice about Mr. Boy. Which of course I cannot remember. He did not muddle or munipulate, he was just very honest and wise. He was confident and not threatened at all by Mr. Boy. This greatly attracted me to him.

Mr. Boy made several phone calls later on that afternoon as I was trying to study. He very much felt that we needed to date again and was putting the pressure on me. Chris being the studly man that he was sensed that I was under duress and made an executive decision. He called me and said that I was to put on some super comfy clothes, gather up my books, and wait for him to pick me up. He had cleared all non-studiers out of the Lonestar Verde, made coffee, and had even gotten some blue bell ice cream.

Chris came and picked me up and took me to his house to study. Matt Sloan was there too and together the three of us studied in peace all night. Chris protected and provided. Mr. Boy was still calling and pressuring.

The next week I took my tests after being well studied thank to Mr. Hill. But I was still confused about Mr. Boy. Chris and I were definitely friends, and were definitely not dating yet. I could tell that Chris was being supremely careful and cautious and was not about to make any sudden moves.

[ Little did I know that Chris Hill had taken Mr. Boy out to dinner DURING my accounting test and gave him a good talking to. ]

My Cowboy Daddy was drilling in Papau New Guinea at the time that all this was going down, so I was not able to talk to him much. But I was in some desperate need of some good fatherly advice so I gave him a call and was able to get him on the phone. I quickly explained the situation and he said one thing and hung up the phone. He said "God leads and Satan pushes".

Instantly I knew what to do. I called Mr. Boy up and set up a meeting in the park. As we walked around the track I told him that it was time for me to be fought for, pursued, and cared about. I put up that challenge and told him what I wanted.

After a summer of spending time with the Lord and talking to my Dad I suddently knew who I was and I was no longer willing to compromise anything for that. I wanted to present myself wholly in a relationship and not leave out the deep love I had for Jesus, or any of the opinions I had about life.

This definitely awoke something deep inside of Mr. Boy that I believe he had been searching for. But, I had already made up my mind. I told Mr. Boy that I did not want to date him, and that I just wanted to be friends with Chris Hill.

Mr. Boy was very confused. FRIENDS? I said yes, just friends. Chris Hill had so intrigued me that I was content being just friends with him without any promise of a future. God had stirred something deep inside of me and I was willing to risk my heart for Mr. Hill. Mr. Boy was not happy about that at all. Especially since when he and I had been dating the previous year he had confided in Chris about our relationship. Chris had no idea who I was at the time.

After our conversation I went over to the Lone Star Verde with Kristi and Lauren. Chris and his friend Brian Cooper had just gotten back from dancing at the Hall and were eating What A Burger (which I had always thought was Water Burger growing up). Chris paid no attention to me at all. This was mostly because his entire hosue of roommates had been pestering him that we were going to get married.

So I sat there on his couch, while he was ignoring me, thinking to myself "I have just sacrificed the relationship that I had wanted so badly for YOU." I seriously think Chris said nothing to me that night.

More to be continued later on this weekend

Mr. Boy update: later on that year God did some awesome and amazing things with Mr. Boy. I believe he went on to meet his future wife that year. They are happily married now and quite an amazing couple.

El Yum: Two Different Kinds of Pizza

2010-06-03T09:18:00.001-05:00

Since I just posted the best pizza dough recipe I thought I would also tell y'all about the two different kinds of pizza we make in the Hill Household.

The first kind of pizza we make is just good old pepperoni. Chris and I are pizza enthusiasts but we most love plain old pepperoni. The foundation of a good pepperoni pizza is lots of sauce. Of course this is all our own opinion. Pizza is very personal, so if you do not like lots of sauce then please do not be offended. BUT - before you totally make up your mind about that at least try lots of my favorite sauce.

I do not make my own sauce. Praise the Lord. But I absolutely love and adore and cherish Cento pizza sauce. This can of sauce is on the pasta isle next to the expensive cans of special Italian tomatoes. It is about $1.50 - $1.99 a can. I promise that it totally makes the homemade pizza experience worth all the hard work. If I were you I would just go ahead and pour that whole can of sauce on your pizza dough.

(Please note that this is not the fully prepared pizza sauce I love, this is just what a Cento can looks like.)

I have recently discovered that it is much better to grate your own mozzarella. It melts so much better.
Cover your pizza in a good amount of mozzarella and then any of the following toppings: Hormel natural and uncured pepperonis, mushrooms, banana peppers, turkey Italian sausage, bell peppers, black olives, or Roma tomatoes. Sometimes Chris and I just do pepperoni and sometimes we get a little more creative. Seriously y'all pizza is about the dough and the sauce.

The next pizza is Margarita pizza courtesy of my friend Elizabeth Meeh. She made this pizza for Lauren and Matt's couples shower that she so wonderfully hosted. Of course I spied something wonderful being made and paid close attention.

All you need for this is:
Homemade pizza dough
Pesto
Fresh mozzarella sliced thinly
3-4 Roma tomatoes
A dash or two of garlic salt

Liz spread the pesto over the dough. I would say a good 1/2 a cup to 2/3 a cup depending on how much you think you want, or how large you have rolled your dough out. She then covered the pizza in the sliced mozzarella and then covered it in the sliced Roma tomatoes. Then she lightly lightly sprinkled the top with garlic salt and brushed some olive oil on the crust. I bake this pizz in a 450 degree oven for about 15 minutes. I promise you will not burn the cheese.

Then prepare yourself for some amazing awesomeness. This is truly an amazing recipe. Chris, my meat eating husband, absolutely LOVES LOVES LOVES this pizza.

There you have it. Two great pizza recipes to spoil your loved ones with. A homemade pizza and some good beer or wine while watching a movie = a great "Art of Staying In" date which was coined by the one and only Julie Prothro.

El Yum: The Best Pizza Dough

2010-06-01T11:43:00.003-05:00

Tonight I am making pizza with some of my high school, and now real life, besties.

I made 3 balls of pizza dough this morning. Two for for the four of us, and one for Chris and his sister Heritage.

In the Hill House pizza is very much a nostalgic thing. Pizza means romance, comfort, love, and is always the best conclusion to a long hard day at the office. Ever since I got married I have been on a pizza mission. A pizza mission to make the best homemade pizza.

I finally found the best pizza dough recipe, and I finally figured out the whole yeast thing! I thought I would share since it only took me a year and half to figure it all out!

If I was super cool I would post pictures of the pizza dough making process. But I am at work and access to pictures and a kitchens is limited --- even on my lunch break!

This recipe is from williams and sonoma where they also sell the best pizza stones.

Here's the deal though: I use the ingredients in this recipe but I do not follow the directions.

Here are the ingredients you need:

2 tsp of active dry yeast, or 1 yeast packet.
1 tsp of sugar
1 cup of warm / hot water
2 cups of bread flour
1 1/2 tsp of fine salt (no kosher salt)
1 tbs of olive oil

Turn your water facet on to hot and let the water run until the water is hot. How hot you ask? Hot enough that it stings your finger a little when you hold it under, but not so hot that you cannot hold your finger under. In short not scalding but fairly hot. In a large glass bowl pour in your yeast and sugar, the take a cup of the hot water and very slowly pour the water in. Then take a small whisk and gently stir until all the yeast and sugar are dissolved. Then leave the yeast, sugar, and water mixture alone for TEN minutes. No longer and no less because during that TEN minutes the yeast will eat up the sugar and start to get frothy on top. If no froth appears after ten minutes then you have killed your yeast and you will need to start over. NOTE: if you follow the water facet technique you should not kill your yeast, and you should be able to dissolve it. It is a fine line folks!

After the ten minutes is over pour in your 2 cups of bread flour, then your 1 1/2 tsp of salt, and then the olive oil.

The williams and sonoma recipe says to use your kitchen aid stand mixer with the bread hook attached. But I have found that if you do this you tend to over knead the dough. What I do is just mix everything in the glass bowl with a wooden spoon. Stir until all the flour is mixed into the dough. The dough will be fairly sticky, but that is exactly what is supposed to be. Then lift your dough out of the bowl and pour another tablespoon of olive oil into the bowl. Then cover then dough in the olive oil, and then cover the bowl with a clean dish towel.

It is important that you leave the dough in a warm a dark place. Depending on how fluffy you want your pizza - let the dough rise for about 1-2 hours.

If you would like your dough sooner than that --- heat up your toaster oven -- place a towel over the top of it --- and then place the bowl with the dough in it on top of that. The dough will rise in about 45 minutes.

On a clean surface sprinkle a good handful of the bread flour and put your pizza dough on top. Carefully coat the ball of dough and begin to knead for about 2 minutes. Then roll your pizza dough out!

If you let the pizza dough rise for two hours then it will make two pizzas. If you use the 45 minute method then you will be able to make one large pizza.

( Please excuse the weird formatting on this page. I have no idea what is going on ).

The Free

2010-05-28T11:52:00.002-05:00

Our friend, Kyle Wood's favorite book is East of Eden by John Steinbeck, and Jasmine Star just recently posted on her blog that she also loved the book.

I have kind of been starved for something a little more intellectually challenging to read than your average Christian novel. Ya know, sometimes your mind just needs the exercise. So, last week I walked in to Tomball's little used book store and picked up a brand new copy.

So far it is very interesting.

As I read last night John transitioned in between story lines to make a little vignette about human kind, and it just captured me so I thought I would share:

"And this I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual. This is what I am and what I am about. I can understand why a system built on a pattern must try to destroy the free mind, for that is one thing which can by inspection destroy such a system. Surely I can understand this, and I hate and I will fight against it to preserve the one thing that separates us from the uncreative beasts. If the glory can be killed, we are lost."

On this memorial weekend where we remember and honor all those who have fought and died for this "free" country, I think this little vignette is especially appropriate. It is the interesting thing about America that we fight for some sort of chaotic balance between the system and the individual. It is the tension between the two that gives us momentum to continue to move forward, freely.

It is also interesting to me that it is God who gave us our free mind and will, and because of that we are presented with the most valuable choice on earth. To choose Him or not.

Happy Memorial Weedend, y'all!

How I met Mr. Hill: Edition 2

2010-05-27T14:33:00.003-05:00

Lauren Lust marched me up to the front door of the Lone Star Verde while I was still holding my large vanilla dr. pepper from Sonic. I was also wearing a dr. pepper t-shirt from Urban Outfitters and my old worn out Abercrombie jeans. Please note: this was the same outfit I wore the last time I was at the Verde, which of course was a crime of humanity.

So, Lauren is marching me up to the front door all the while I am complaining and resisting because we were not invited. I was not a boy chaser. I did not go places uninvited. I did not walk into a boys house just to say.

Then the front door was pulled open and there Chris Hill was sitting on the couch in a green John Deere shirt playing Madden on PlayStation. The neck of his shirt had been stretched out a little so I could see some chest hair peeking out ---- and I thought this was totally sexy.

I was smitten like I had just seen Brad Pitt, and as far as I was concerned I had.

I sat down on the couch across from Chris and Lauren sat next to me. I believe Wes and Matt were also there. At first we were all in the room together talking. Then all of the sudden Chris scooted over closer to me. My heart sank and started beating really fast. All of the sudden Chris and I began having our own conversation, and all of the sudden we were the only two in the room.

Chris was talking a lot -- and I was glad because I had been rendered speechless and light headed. You see that previous summer I had sat my Cowboy Daddy down and handed him my list of requirements for my future husband. He agreed to the terms and signed off on it. As I sat there on the couch, and while Chris was talking, God slowly took me through that list and checked off each item. I kept thinking WHAT IS GOD DOING. I am SINGLE. I want to be SINGLE. But this man is so incredible.

You see I had never met a person who I was both intellectually attracted to and physically attracted to -- who also loved Jesus with his whole heart.

Chris was:
1. A Cowboy
2. Radically loved Jesus but was not weird
3. Loved business
4. Had also lived in a different country
5. His dad also owned a business
6. Believed in excellence
7. Was raised with on the same principles as me
8. Grew up going to the same kind of church as me
9. A Cowboy :)
10. Had chest hair
11. Was really, really, really TALL
12. Had shoulders that were as wide as I am tall
13. Had deep blue eyes
14. Had dark curly hair
15. Had vision
16. Was so attractive that I could barely stand to sit on the couch talking to him

We talked for three hours straight, about everything. Our hopes, our dreams, our previous relationships, everything. I just sat there thinking, "God what are you doing?".

Then Lauren came back out and we started walking to the car, and before we got in it she looked at me and said "You are going marry him". I told her that I was not and there was no way she could know that.

But in my heart of hearts I knew that I had just met my future husband.

And that was just beginning .......

And my sin...

2010-05-22T08:14:00.000-05:00

OH the bliss of this glorious thought...

My sin - not in part but the whole -

Was nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more.

I heard this hymn this morning during my quiet time. I cannot even begin to tell you the emotion that rises up into my heart when I sing those words - "not in part but the whole" and "I bear it no more."

How I met Mr. Hill

2010-05-21T11:12:00.002-05:00

I thought it might be fun to tell y'all the long saga of how Chris and I started dating.

I think it will be fun for me to tell my side of the story and then for Chris to tell his side. That way you get both point of views.

I think I will give you the long version. Does this interest you?

My freshman year I dated a boy. He was a nice boy. I was a nice girl. We were just not nice for each other. That ended in April. I was mad at God for letting me waste my time. I was living in the sorority house at the time and I remember lying on the floor of my room which was also called "The Cave" and being angry at God because I felt like I had wasted my time dating this boy [who was and is a very nice boy].

Then God said two things to me that got me up off that floor. He said first "I do not waste your time". That brought great peace to me but my heart still felt like it had gone through a cheese grater. I asked the Lord what I was supposed to do and he said "Hope and Wait." So that is what I did.

That summer I went home and interned with Young Life and worked at a day spa and hung out with my super bestie Kelley Samu Ellis. It was awesome and got awoke a hunger in me for Him that was unreal. I was pouring into people while also getting poured into by Jesus. That month was busy. Every moment was planned. I grew so much.

Then my family went to Cains, Australia for the rest of the summer because my Dad was drilling in Papua New Guinea. I went from barely having time to think to laying on a beach doing nothing and all I could think about was marriage. I was pissed. I remember lying in bed next to my Mimi telling God that I did not want to think about marriage because it was driving me utterly insane. Then God said something interesting to me, he said "I do not give you passion without purpose". In an instant I had such complete peace --- it was awesome. Then I went on this whole search for understanding God's goodness which you can read about here.

Then we did all kind of wonderful things in Australia and I decided that if there was no Texas that I would live in Australia even though they had British food. The Chinese food there was glorious, so was the Great Barrier Reef.

As soon as my feet landed back in the U.S. it was time to head back to College Station for sorority stuff. Once I was settled back into the sorority house Mr. Boy from freshman year came back on the scene and was interested in dating me again. I was thrilled to say the least.

I had two friends in Chi O who were older than me and had discipled me the year before, Lauren Lust and Kristi Stewart Lewis. They were and are wild for Jesus and everything I needed and wanted in friends at that time ---- and still to this day. Kristi Stewart Louis had been partners with Wes Witney at Impact camp that summer. Wes Witney had just moved into a house with four other boys the beginning of my sophomore year. One of which was Daniel Weizel who I knew because of my friend from high school and roommate freshman year, Ellen Armour Olive. Wes and Daniel just happened to be friends with Chris Hill who was living in the house, called The Lonestar Verde, with them.

Kristi and Lauren started hanging out there all the time. About two weeks into the school year they called me up one day and said they had met this awesome house of guys through Wes. Lauren was like "Yeah, and there is this guy named Chris who is super hot and loves Jesus and business".

Little did Kristi and Lauren know that the previous night I had just been to a party at Kristi's house and had the awesome realization that I was single and I was in college and the boys at the party knew I was single. And I liked it.

But remember Mr. Boy from freshman year is still on the scene --- calling me and what not.

Then Daniel Weizel invited me and some of my sorority girlfriends over for a Thursday night party. This would be the second time I met Chris Hill. The very first time was at the Marina for a football BBQ --- but I was there because Mr. Boy from freshman year was there and I did not have any eyes to take notice of Chris.

I get to the party at Daniel's (The Lonestar Verde) and Kristi and Lauren are waiting to introduce me to Chris. I walk in and Chris is standing in the hallway announcing to everyone that he is going to bed because he has an accounting quiz the next day. And he was wearing his glasses. I thought he was dorky.

That was on Thursday. On Sunday we had our first co-ed bible study. Kristi, Lauren, Shaina, and I and several other girls had bible study every Sunday night the year before. This year we decided to open it up to everyone who wanted to come.

I was late and I walked in and Chris Hill was sitting in a chair. I was captivated, smitten, and totally taken. He was dressed in his maroon air jordan

I did everything I could to ignore him completely. I kept telling myself that I was single and I liked it AND there was Mr. Boy. At the very end of the bible study this stunningly handsome Chris Hill asked if he could pray for me. All the girls gasped in delight and my heart sank. I thought man if he touches me I might faint.

Then he prayed for me. He read my mail. He prayed everything I needed to hear. He spoke to the Lord about every secret of my heart, and then he read me the part of scripture that I had been reading all summer.

Then he left.

Then the girls rushed me to Taco Cabana and sat me outside and announced: YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY THAT MAN. Then I yelled at them and told them not to be silly, immature, and annoying.

Then on Tuesday I went to Houston and got my hair done and drove back to the sorority house. Lauren Lust called me and asked me if I wanted to go get a vanilla Dr. Pepper.

But what she really did was kidnap me and force me to go over to The Lonestar Verde unannounced while wearing the SAME shirt I had worn on Thursday night.

That is when everything started which I will tell you all about later :)

This is when the story gets really good and I stop saying then, then, then :)

SHFP: Like Mother Like Daughters

2010-05-19T14:19:00.004-05:00

The very first day I signed up for twitter one my friends from high school, Ellen Reynolds, was the first to interact with me. In fact it was probably the first interaction we have had since high school! It has been extremely fun to talk to her again. Through twitter I found out some pretty cool stuff about Ellen like:

Ellen works in Austin for a super cool company called the Dachis Group that specializes in combining social media with business. The Dachis Group has created a business model that captures and creates value from new movements technology, society, and the emerging market place. Which basically means they are on the forefront of how businesses will communicate internally and externally. I just so happen to think that is totally interesting.

Ellen, her mom Nancy, and her sister Robin have a food blog called Like Mother Like Daughters. It is all about using great ingredients, being healthy, having fun, and all the different views and aspects of food. Not mention that their blog design is one of my favorites.

Go check them out and give them some love :)

( I may have accidently become facinated by the company Ellen works for while writing this blog, so I just wanted to reiterate the coolness of her food blog in case anyone was confused )

Jordan Family Chicken Salad - El Yum

2010-05-19T13:55:00.003-05:00

If I could have a branded cooking section on this blog I would call it El Yum.

I have no idea why. I would just do it and never think twice. :)

My Mimi passed this recipe down to my Mom who added her own twist and then taught me how to make it. This is one if Chris's most favorite Jordan family recipes. Tomorrow I will give y'all my other mama's - Mama Bear Hill - recipe for the best and most easy spaghetti ever :)

I have been hot all day today and the thought of eating anything hot sounds horrible. So tonight I am making this for dinner.

Jordan Family Chicken Salad:

(chicken salad is all about a little dash of this and a little dash of that)

2-3 chicken breasts boiled in chicken stock (sans the MSG) until done (you can have bone it or just boneless skinless -- whatever you prefer)
4-6 stalks of celery washed and sliced thinly
1/2 -2/3 cup of lightly toasted sliced almonds
1 teaspoon of dried dill weed (or more to taste)
1/2 teaspoon of celery salt (or more to taste)
1/2-3/4 cup of mayo (or more to taste)
a little salt and as much ground pepper as you like

Once your chicken is done and cooled off enough to handle with hands, or cooled off completely, then cut in chunks and add it to your food processor and pulse 3-4 times until shredded. If you do not have a food processor then just shred it or dice it up finely. Add chicken to a large bowl and add dill weed and celery salt and toss to coat chicken. Then add the mayo. Then add cooled almonds and celery. Mix well. Taste. Add pepper and any more of the seasonings or mayo that you think is necessary. Put in the refrigerator for at least an hour to cool before eating. If stored in an airtight container then will last up to five days in refigerator.

Serve with any of the following in whatever combination seems best to you:
Tortilla Chips
Salsa
Fresh French Bread
Red or Green Grapes (+ any other fruit that might sound good)
HEB Hummus (traditional)
Lightly toasted pita bread
Flour Tortillas
Romaine Lettuce Leaves
Sweat Tea, Lemonade, Limeade

Keeping a Husband

2010-05-18T11:26:00.001-05:00

I will define keeping a husband as this: an ongoing environment where the wife creates an atmosphere of love and safety while also doing little things for her husband that no one else on earth would do or could do.

Men and women are totally different. I realize this is a totally new and profound statement :) - but it is very true. My man [ THE Hubby Bubby] is the head of my house in absolutely every way. He does amazing things for me every day. But this here post is not about what my Hubby Bubby does for me, but is about what I do for him and why it is important. I just wanted to make the statement that I realize boys are girls have different "gender roles"and are thus "different", but in this day and age the roles have been greatly expanded and the boundaries have been blurred. While I support a lot of the new expansions of gender roles there are some foundational principles that I feel are extremely important and need to be revisited.

I as the wifie mama [ wifie to the Hubby and mama to the puppy ] view my house [ also known as "The Barn" ] like the Fort Hood of our family. Where I [ the wifie mama] go Fort Hood also goes with me. In the sense that I create the atmosphere of home no matter where or what the structure we create it in is.

Why is it so important to have the atmosphere home in the family? Because the world is cruel, manipulative, and extremely difficult. And everyone needs a place to call home they need a place of safety, a place of vulnerability, and a place where priorities are re-prioritized.

Keeping a man starts with creating a "home". Girls are naturally gifted with the ability to create home. You do not have to be domestic or be able to cook and clean well, but you have to use your gift to create a nurturing atmosphere. That nurturing atmosphere could look very different across all different households, but it accomplishes the same thing. It establishes the home. Girls if you feel like you are unable to nurture or create a home like atmosphere then I want you to ask God to show you how. That ability is innate to you by the virtue of the chromosomes you carry. That ability could be asleep inside of your heart, and simply just needs to be re-awoken. Ask your first love Jesus to wake it up for you. After you have discovered the desire then we can talk about implementing.

Back to keeping a man. I am going to list out some things that I do for my man in order to show you what I mean by keeping your man. Please note: what I do could be opposite of what you do and that is 100% ok. You could even think I am crazy, but that is not the point. The point is the principle behind my craziness.

These are in no specific order:

I want to be the first one to tell him he is hot in the morning, so that if some floussy flouncy [these are not real words] tells him he is hot at work he can just say "thank you" my wife told me that this morning. This creates a realm of "safety" for the man that he can travel in at all times.
I sit on the couch beside him sometimes while he plays video games, because that counts as "doing" together and I know that is extremely important to him.
My Fort Hood Barn is the safest place for my man to feel vulnerable. If my man does not feel safe to feel vulnerable at home, then he will go feel vulnerable somewhere else.
I make him his favorite foods - just because and for no special occasion -- just because I love him.
I adapt certain ways of cleaning, cooking, and doing things in order to show him respect.
I learned how his mother [Mama Bear Hill] took care of him, and I asked her about it and learned from her. Because she is super awesome she let me do that and taught me little things to do for the Hubby Bubby that would mean a lot to Him.
I make him his lunch everyday, so that when he eats it everyone at works knows I love him. That is the real reason I make his lunch everyday.
I have a real strong opinion about a lot of things and I share what I think with him, because no one wants to be married to a door mat.
I ask and learn about what he does at work because that makes him feel important.
I stay involved in what he is interested in so that we can talk about topics he feels really strongly about. This is how you grow together -- because usually he will also do this for you.
I get off the computer to engage in conversation with him when I do not want to.
I write thank you notes to lots of poeple because that is extremely important to him.
I allow myself to continue to fall wildly and passionately in love with him, because that type of marriage is way more fun. Maybe more work but way more fun!
I am honest with him about what I am feeling and thinking - so we can talk about it. This keeps me rational and much more fun to be around.
I spend time with Jesus so that I can continue to be beautiful on the inside.

These are just some things that I could think of, and some of them might drive your husband crazy so you would not do them for him. But please get my point -- you sacrifice some things in order to keep your husband.

The Hubby Bubby does a million incredible things for me. But I feel like in the world of counseling and preparing for marriage we focus a lot on what the man should do around the house or for the wife, and we totally forget to tell the woman that she must also create the atmosphere of home.

Wives when your Grandmother would tell you or show you how to do certain things for your new man and you at the time thought she was so old fashioned - you were wrong. Her methods might have been old fashioned but her principle for doing so remains the same today. That principle needs to be reinstated.

If you as the wifie mama are totally confused or even angry about this post --- then let me know because I would LOVE to talk to you about it.

Yummy Crockpot Dinner

2010-05-17T15:56:00.001-05:00

I absolutely love this meal. It is so easy and yet it tastes so yummy. The only trick is you have to make sure you get a good flank or skirt steak. If you can find a massive skirt steak that is the best, and if you are ordering some Diamond H beef then even better!

Cuban Braised Beef & Peppers

1 28 oz can of diced tomatoes, drained (although I did no drain, more juice the better)

2 -3 Red, Yellow, or Orange Bell Pepper sliced ½ inch thick

1 onion cut into wedges

2 teaspoons of dried oregano

1 teaspoon of ground cumin

kosher salt and black pepper

1 ½ pounds of really good flank steak or skirt steak, cut crosswise into thirds

1 cup long grain white rice, or brown rice

1 avocado

¼ cup of fresh cilantro

In a 5-6 qt slow cooker, combine the tomatoes, bell peppers, onion, spices, salt and pepper. Mix Well. Nestle the steak among the vegetables. Cook, covered, until the meat is tender and pulls apart easily, on high for 4-5 hours or on low for 7-8 hours.

25 minutes before serving cook the rice according to package instructions

Using two forks, shred the beef and mix it into the cooking liquid ( you can also let it cool and scrape any excess fat off and then heat back up). Serve with rice and top with avocado and cilantro --- and maybe a little salsa

And then have your self an amazing dinner sitting at a table with someone you love :)

A Tale of Two Weeks

2010-05-08T13:19:00.000-05:00

I have become experientially convinced this week of something – prayer changes things.

Don’t get me wrong, I have experienced the power of prayer before in my life, but this week, the difference before and after was so extreme that it was frankly a lesson impossible to ignore and one that I will not soon forget.

For the first half of this week, I was very much not myself. I was easily agitated. I was at time bordering depressed. I was so anxious about so many things. The anxiety was the worst part. I hardly know what anxiety feels like. It is not something that I personally deal with on a daily basis (Though I understand many do, it just is something that the Lord had previously dealt with in my life.).

I was anxious and worried about everything. Getting into another wreck, relationships, finances, stuff at work, my ankle – I mean, it was completely ridiculous. I could not quit thinking about these things. Worse yet, I could not quit thinking in an awful manner about these things. My wife would’ve been the first to tell you that my attitude was horrific.

I kept thinking to myself, “What is wrong with me? This is not like me. I don’t struggle with this. Why do I feel this way? Why can I not get rid of these feelings, and where on earth are they coming from.”

That was about Saturday to Wednesday morning. Since spraining my ankle, I had not had a very good quiet time up until Wednesday morning. It was not an intentional thing, it’s just tough to get up and get going when you wake up to a throbbing ankle.

Wednesday I had, had enough. I knew what I needed to do. I got up. I limped downstairs (not just physically). I plopped on the couch.

I curled up and kneeled on my couch. For the next twenty minutes I cried out to Jesus. That was it. I told Him how much I needed Him. I humbled myself before Him. On my knees, I made a statement of reminder to my Jesus, my flesh, and my enemy that I was submitted to my Master and at rest in Him. Then I got up and went to work.

I cannot even begin to describe how categorically different I was the rest of the week. It was astounding. My attitude was altogether different. Work was no less demanding, my ankle was still sprained, my truck was still in the shop; but my thinking and attitude was completely different. I had joy in the midst of it. I had peace. I was able to give my wife the attention that she needed because I was no longer selfishly focused on my own anxieties when Christ has spoken so clearly for us to not be anxious.

He is a kind teacher.

Jesus

2010-05-07T16:03:00.000-05:00

What I have been reminded of today and what I have learned today:

Really, what it is all about is Jesus. If you seek Jesus in absolutely every area of your life then that area of your life will be what it is supposed to be.

There is no area where Jesus is not. No matter how deep or how dark He is there.

Fear.Less and Making.It

2010-05-06T10:45:00.002-05:00

I subscribe to Seth Godin's blog. Today he talked about mirco magazines and the future of media.

(I have really begin to love all things which relate to: media, branding, and marketing)

A micro magazine he highlighted is a brand new one called fear.less. Which is basically about overcoming all kinds of fear.

The edition that I downloaded is about a famous photographer who shares his insights on overcoming fears and transforming what our generation thinks about "making it" in life. His first story is about going to a legendary photographer Julius Shulman when he was about 100 years old. Platon asks the old photographer if he has any advice for him. The old man replies and says life is not about "making it" it is about enjoying the journey and enjoying every single step of the way.

I realize that all of us have been told this at some point in our life, but today this really spoke to me because I have definitely not made it and I am definitely still on the journey. After you go through all of your years of education and then enter the working world there is a part of our culture that whispers to us that "we have made it". While we are all thinking is this really it? The great thing is that this is just the beginning and God really wants you to get excited about what He has for us today. Our childhood and education just built a really great foundation on which our journey can take place.

I have to tell you that I really needed the encouragement and inspiration from this little micro mag today. My journey needed a swift kick in the pants.

A note from a monthly friend

2010-05-05T13:32:00.000-05:00

Dear Jess,

I would like to lay on the floor and eat chocolate.

I would like to sit on the couch and eat pizza.

I would like to cry and eat queso.

I would like to be irrational about anything normal, and normal about anything irrational.

I would like to make you feel like you are crazy with large amounts of ADD pumping through your veins.

I would like you to gain and lose 5 pounds in three days.

love,
Your PMS

A Blog Mini-Series: Ankle FAIL Part III

2010-05-02T11:50:00.000-05:00

*****WARNING*****

THE CANKLE IS TURNING BLUE NOW. THIS IS BOTH EXCITING AND GROSS ALL AT THE SAME TIME. If you are grossed out by swelling or bruising, then come back to the blog after I am done having fun showing off my war wound. That is all.

*****END OF WARNING*****

Alright! Time for the weekend update. The bugger has finally started to show its true colors. I spent most of yesterday watching movies and such. Been pretty relaxing so far.

Our dear friend, Brad Wilcox, came over last night for dinner. We (shall I say, Jess) did it up right. We had back strap and polish sausage (thank you, Fred the Deer), an awesome salad, and both sweet potato and waffle fries. It was exceptional.

The boys (Rusty, Evan, and Jeremy) were also without a mother, so they came over for dinner too. It was way fun.

Jess finished off the evening by making us cinnamon rolls from scratch.

Yea, I nearly had a conniption they were so good.

So who is up for a little ANKLE FAIL? I know I am. Let's bring on the bruises.

Now for the inside:

I have now hopefully succeeded in making you hungry and slightly nauseous in about 20 seconds.

Now I will show you pictures of the puppy taking a nap with me yesterday so that you will think she is cute and not want to hurt me.

Gosh, she is ridiculously cute if I may say so myself.

That's all for this edition of Ankle FAIL. Take 30 seconds and write us a comment. I can't decide if you all will like/hate this Mini Series. I would love some feedback.

Mr. Cankle

A Blog Mini-Series: Ankle FAIL Part II

2010-04-30T21:14:00.001-05:00

Day two of the ankle FAIL here:

Yep, those are bruises starting to peak through there.

I literally think that you can pick out how many stitches in my ankle brace are there because they imprint into the swelling so clearly...Kind of weird. Ok, really weird.

So I have this awesome brace that I've been using to keep the swelling pushed out of the FAIL joint...Here's the coolest part:

Is it childish that I find this picture fascinating? The fluid has "puddled" right above where the ankle brace ends. Incredible.

Ok, that's enough gross/weird pictures for the night. Back to watching the Thunder (hopefully) beat the Lakers to force a game seven.

Man, I seriously dislike the Lakers.

Thanks and Gig'em,

Mr. ~~Hill~~ Cankle

A Blog Mini-Series: Ankle FAIL

2010-04-29T20:32:00.001-05:00

WARNING:
This blog series is about the progression of the FAIL of my left ankle. It will have potentially gross pictures, and it is not for the faint of heart and/or stomach.

END OF WARNING.

My ankle is in a sad state of affairs.

I play basketball at least twice a week. Every week. Like clockwork. It is a very important part of my life/stress relief.

I was playing on Wednesday. I went up to block a guy's shot who is particular hard to block. A buddy of mine came down the baseline toward us in order to help. The guy missed the shot, my buddy came down to the ground before me (my ankle is beginning to hurt just thinking about this), and I landed with my full 240 lb self on top of his foot.

*****OUCH******

Lots of hobbling, lying down on the side of the court, ice, disbelief, some pain, anger, more ice, frustration.

Lots more hobbling.

Yesterday was certainly a tough day. Not being able to play basketball for the next month is one thing.

ADD INSULT 2 INJURY? Why not?

Warrior Dash is this weekend. I have been training for a couple of months for this race. It was to be the first 5K of my young life. Pretty generally frustrating/brutal.

Seriously, Jess is pretty much the only reason that I have remained sane.

So, here are some pictures of my ~~ankle~~ cankle. I've had so much worse when it comes to ankle sprains. Thankfully, it is certainly not the worst, but it does look pretty goofy.

Some bruises. I wish you all could see how weird it looks where my ankle brace has been. It has pushed the swelling into a not right above it. Pretty ~~gross~~ majorly awesome.

Not all bruises in the below pic. Shadows mostly. The bruises haven't started to show up yet.

Yea, most certainly a cankle.

Yea, more Ankle FAIL to follow. I can't wait to see the bruises.

Mr. Hill

Opinion: Hill

2010-04-27T21:02:00.000-05:00

A new segment on the blog begins tonight:

Opinion: Hill

Tonight we have a perspective on the subject of Gentlemen's quarters.

Yes, folks, I'm talking about fancy bathrooms.

What takes a "can" and turns it into a Gentleman's Retreat? I have several things that, in my humble opinion, accomplish this feat.

(For the record, for a restaurant, hotel, or club to qualify as truly "swank", it's gotta have happenin water closet.)

Keys to a truly great privy:

-Stalls with real walls, not partitions. Heeeeello privacy.

-Full length urinals. Let's be honest. I don't expect the ladies to understand, but the full length urinal is something of beauty.

-Hand TOWELS...No, not paper towels for your hands, not cheap paper stuff that you can't dry your hands with, not a gosh darn AIR DRYER! Real, soft, cotton towels to dry your mitts off with. This is truly a thing of beauty.

-Good soap is a must.

-Mouth wash - Lord knows our breath can get stinky.

-Finally, and this is key - good hand lotion. No scent of course, that would be unmanly.

That is all for this edition of Opinion: Hill.

Signing off, this is...

Mr. Hill

SHFP: In A Nutshell

2010-04-13T14:43:00.001-05:00

Apparently it is the week the of the Shameless Hill Family Promotion. I just have to add one more to the list and it is my friend Shelby Crandall's new blog. In a Nutshell

I love it. It is new and fun. Shelby does a great job blogging about all sorts of wonderful things and introducing you to other wonderful people and products on the interwebs.

Please click over and check her out. I love having her in my RSS feed :)

SWWM Edition 2: Provision INSTEAD of Pride

2010-04-13T07:27:00.000-05:00

What would a Super Woman Wifie Mama (or a Super Man Hubby Daddy) be without Jesus?

Definitely not very super. I know that without Jesus this Wifie Mama ( mama to a puppy, and future mama to Hill children in years to come ) would not be writing blogs, because without Jesus I simply just do not have many interesting or helpful things to say.

Please note that this Wifie Mama has not yet achieved looking good in bikini. I just want to keep it real. Hopefully before June gets here I will achieve this goal. I will let you know when I do but I most certainly will not provide pictures. :)

The past month or so God has been doing a big work in my heart in regard to provision. Ever since I graduated college I have been trying to prove myself to the world. I wanted to prove that I can be dependent on myself and independent from everyone else. The whole I can and will make it on my own thing. Not that making it on your own is a bad thing, it is not. It is a very awesome and wonderful thing. It was just that my heart was wrong. Notice all the "I"s in the previous sentences? I can, I will, I won't, my purpose, my destiny, my value, my worth.

When I graduated I walled myself up in my heart and dug into the ground and prepared for battle. Against what - you might ask? At the very core it was probably giving up my pride and having to submit to doing something I did not want to do.

Remember these posts:
Bombs in your heart
No Mrs. Iron Pants

These are two of a whole lot posts (probably) where you are seeing my pride and Jesus have a little fight on the blog. If you read carefully between the lines you can probably see it. If you really know me then you most certainly do not need to read between the lines. You can now say a little prayer for everyone in my office who survived me trying to prove myself. I may be 5'2" but I am the oldest of four and think I am 6'2". Maybe that had something to do with my Mom always telling me to project tallness?

Last week I was very tired in my soul. Have you ever felt that way? Where you are just weary?

I had gotten enough sleep, had quiet times, worked out, and even had a clean house. But I was so tired.

This past Sunday before church Chris and I got up early to have a little vision prayer session. Where we both sat before the Lord and sought His vision for our lives right now. Of course I thought I was seeking vision for where God wanted us to buy a house and when and all that, but the Lord had other plans. The Lord wanted to give me rest. Isn't He sweet?

Last week God had me in Isaiah 54, but I never really continued reading on to Isaiah 55. On Sunday God had me in John 4 and Chris in Isaiah 55, and we both had a verse about being thirsty.

God took me through John 4 where Jesus meets the woman at the well. The first thing I noticed was that Jesus was tired from His journey and sat down to rest at the well. Verse 6. I thought to myself -when Jesus was on the earth He had to rest! Which a lot of the time meant getting away and praying and being with the Father. Jesus was not proving Himself, He was simply doing the Father's will:
Verse 34 "Jesus said to them, My food (nourishment) is to do the will (pleasure) of Him who sent me and to accomplish and completely finish His work."

Interesting thought huh?

John 4:14 is where God really started pulling on the strings of my heart. "But whoever takes a drink of the water that I will give him shall never, no never, be thirsty any more. But the water that I will give him shall become a spring of water welling up (flowing, bubbling) [continually] within him unto (into, for) eternal life."

But get this ---- at the same time, without knowing it Chris was in Isaiah 55:1.
"Wait and listen, everyone who is thirsty! Come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Yes, come, buy [priceless, spiritual] wine and milk without money and without price [simply for the self-surrender that accepts the blessing]."

At church on Sunday the sermon was about Isaiah 61. Yesterday morning God had me reading that over and over, and guess what that accomplished? Understanding the Father's heart for me. He is my provider. He came to heal the broken hearted and set the captives free. He came to do a lot of insteads. Beauty INSTEAD of ashes. Joy INSTEAD mourning. A double portion INSTEAD of shame. Why? Because the Lord loves justice and hates robbery and wrong doing. What did the enemy come to do? Steal, kill, and destroy.

Isaiah 61 changed the position of my heart from pride in wanting to provide for myself to understanding that Jesus died so He could be my provision. I have been a Christian for 20 years. TWENTY years and the gospel is still new to me everyday. How cool is that?

Back to Isaiah 55:1 --- this is what blew me away this morning, this one line --- [simply for the self-surrender that accepts the blessing]. I realized that I had to lay down my pride [self-surrender] to accept the blessing of provision and protection. God does not want me to strive and be tired. He wants me to work hard and accomplish his will, but He wants to nourish my soul and give me rest while I am doing it. He is the living water that satisfies eternally. He is the reason we can be new every morning. I can depend on God to provide His will for me. I can depend on God to provide for me everything I need INSTEAD of hashing it out on my own. I will still work hard but I have the living water.

Do you?

SHFP: Olive Our Moments

2010-04-12T10:25:00.000-05:00

Randy and Ellen --- some of our favorite local photographers just launched a new photography blog and it is awesome.

Check it out: Olive Our Moments

Here is their website: Randy Olive Photography

If I had to describe Randy and Ellen as photographers I would say they are: funky, beyond the box, creative, and have the talent and potential to be high end photographers. I simply just love them. They are always changing and researching and developing new things to add their business and skill set.

I am totally unbiased too --- espcially since Ellen has only been one of my besties since the dawn of high school.

SHFP: The Ellis Island

2010-04-08T12:10:00.000-05:00

Top of the morning to ya'

It is time for another edition of Shameless Hill Family Promotions ....

Enter cheesy music.

One of my best friends from junior high / high school and her husband Adam are moving to Connecticut. In fact Adam has already moved to Connecticut and Kelley is here finishing out the school year as the most awesome Calculus teacher Cy-Creek has ever seen.

To say that I am heart broken that they are moving does not even cover it. Chris and I love them both. Adam even let Chris live with him when we graduated from College and before we got married. It was awesome because Kelley and I actually got to see each other.

I met Kelley in 6th grade through Angela who was my very first friend in public school. It just so happened that Angela and Kelley happened to be best friends for life forever in all eternity, so much so that to this day they are both teachers at the same high school. There are a lot of stories about how all of our friendships evolved over time throughout junior high and high school. Enough to fill several blogs. Laura is also one of our really good friends back from the good ole' days, and now after college we are all accountability and prayer partners. We are also Mexican food, pizza, wine, and shopping partners. :)

The one point I would like to make is that in high school Kelley and I NEVER EVER dated guys in the same group. This caused a little tension when it came time to hang out with people on the weekend because of our different taste and preferences in boys. But, when it came time to choose husbands Kelley and I probably could not have picked men more alike.

We both picked 6 foot 5 basketball playing, finance majors, BYX group members, Texas A&M Aggies. We both happened to work at Conoco Phillips right out of college. Kelley and I are also 5 foot two with brown hair. We both also have German Short Hair puppies that we love desperately named Jaida and Giada. Weird? Maybe ..... I think I am going to stop with the likenesses. Although I will mention that the four of us also love grass fed beef and really good red wines.

Ok, ok, ok .... Now on to my SHFP: The Ellis's started blogging and pigs are flying. They are moving up to the NE where Texans are scarce and so is the BBQ.

Please check out their new blog: The Ellis Island

Super Woman Wifie Mama: Edition 1

2010-04-07T11:36:00.001-05:00

Hi all :)

Hope all is well in your world. Can you believe we are this far into 2010? It is absolutely crazy but also a lot of fun.

Remember this post where I first talked about being a Super Woman Wifie Mama who looks good in a bikini? Well, I just wanted to update all of you on my findings of how to be a SWWM. Please be warned that this might be a long list.

I ended my last post with this: Being a SWWM - that looks good in a bikini requires discipline, self-sacrifice, and balance. AND A WHOLE LOT OF LEARNING - and probably a whole lot of mentorship.

I wrote that last post and then set out on a journey to figure all of this out. The very first thing I did was to pray and ask God for guidance because I was completely overwhelmed and had absolutely no energy to do it on my own.

The first thing God did was to provide with me with two girls to keep me accountable with my workouts. Julie Prothro started a star system where you get to give yourself a gold star on a google spreadsheet every day you work out. The days you do not work out, you get a black FAIL. Out of all of the things in the world this has actually gotten me into the habit of working out between 3 and 5 times a week. This is truly a miracle for me and has increased my energy 100 fold.
The second thing God did for me was to help me find Jillian Michael's book Master Your Metabolism. This book has completely changed my life. For the first time I beginning to really understand nutrition and the proper way to eat. Jillian recommends eating whole and organic foods. Her motto is if it comes from the ground or had a mother then EAT IT. Jillian reveals all the chemicals and toxins that are in processed foods and what they do your body. It is a complete wake up call. Chris and I have cleaned out our refrigerator and pantry and are well into a month and half of eating better. Our most favorite salsa ended up having MSG in it -- which was totally heartbreaking --- but we still threw it out. My energy has increased even more since we have started eating better. Eating whole makes me want to work out, clean, and do things that I used to have to force myself to do. I just simply feel better inside and out. I have not had a diet dr. pepper in two weeks. I do not even crave stuff like that anymore.
The third thing God did for me was introduce me to Costco. My Mom prays with a woman in the neighborhood who does everything totally organically and who also shops at Costco. The day my mom told her that I was going organic and everything I had read the lady had all this fabulous advice for us. Costco sells TONS of organic food: fruit, vegetables, eggs, milk, orange juice, salsa, granola bars galore, snacks, chips, french fries, frozen fruit, beef, and chicken. IT IS AWESOME --- and it is has made eating healthy more affordable and doable. We also order Dirtys Chips for Chris's lunch. They are totally natural potato chips the we began eating just because they taste good. Did you know Doritos have tons and tons of MSG added to them? MSG is absolutely horrible - read about it here. Giada even started eating Taste of Wild dog food.
The fourth thing God did for me was introduce me to Melaleuca products. Seven years ago my Mom started ordering Melaleuca products which are naturally based cleaning products, toiletries, snacks, and even Nicole Miller makeup. The cleaning products are incredible and I love them. I am crazy about my kitchen being bacteria free because I am afraid of infecting people with salmonella. Melaleuca has a disinfectant made from lemon and tyme that is so effective that it kills H1N1. The great thing is you can use it of food surfaces and it is not harmful at ALL. In fact about two months ago Giada ate some of my mom's disinfectant spray and she did not have to go the hospital because it was safe! I have always ordered from my Mom but about two weeks ago I decided to go ahead and sign up to be a preferred customer myself so I could just order off the website. Well last week I got my first box of products -- and I LOVE THEM. I want to shout it from the roof tops - seriously. If you are interested in learning about them or how to order them yourself -- just ask me! It is worth it! Especially when you realize all the junk that is in the stuff in the grocery stores.
The fifth thing is: I am taking the Vitamins that Melaleuca offers which have a patented formula that attaches the minerals to proteins so the absorption rate is 10x that of regular vitamins. Last weekend I worked out more, cleaned more, and accomplished more than I ever do. I never thought one thing about it until Sunday night when I realized that it was because I am taking these vitamins. When something works you roll with it and tell everyone you can!

All of these things have helped me to become more disciplined, have more energy, and feel like I can start taking more things on in my day. The reason I am on this quest to becoming a SWWM is because Chris and I want to have enough energy and time to invest in people's lives, and if I cannot get all my stuff straight then we cannot do that. I am not there yet but I am getting there quickly. :)

For people out there who need help meal planning I have this little notepad that really helped me learn how to organize meals and my shopping list. You list out every meal you want to make: breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner. Then on the back I write out my grocery list from the meals I want to make. Then I have it as reference in the grocery store and for the rest of the week. It is awesome. It works for me.

Until the next edition of SWWM :)

An Explosion of All Things Pent Up

2010-04-03T11:30:00.000-05:00

OH MY GOSH.

Bad things happen when I get too excited. Things get broken. I hit things in cars. Squirrels spontaneously combust. It is crazy the amount of excitement energy that God has given me the ability to generate.

Frankly, I sometimes wonder if you could power a small city off of my excitement. It's pretty ridiculous, just ask my wife.

Well, work has been crazy, and we've been out of town nearly every weekend. (Saturday morning after my quiet time is my favorite time to blog...coffee still flows in abundance, good music on the stereo, the day is still quiet - it basically rocks.) The business and traveling have greatly limited me from being able to release all of my silly excitement about random things in life via the blog.

I am about to explode in real life from all the fun, random, silly things that I have been wanting to write about for the last month. I hope you have fun.

1. The album Trouble by Ray LaMontagne might be the perfect Spring time cd. Last weekend, I sat on the front porch listening to this cd. The Sun was still up (God love you, Daylight Savings time!), the breeze was slight, the pond was pretty, Diamond H steaks were on the grill, the wine was a Punto Final Malbec, and my wife was looking particularly beautiful. One of the best nights of my life, truthfully.

2. Online Shopping. I love it. I can find nearly anything online for less money. I get to compare prices, service, etc all from the comfort of my Michael Jordan basketball shorts and iTunes library. Booya.

I love online shopping, but I have also discovered something about myself through it:

I turn into an impatient and emotional two year-old when I have that tracking number.

Seriously. I will open my email, open the Online Shopping label in my gmail (I told you, I'm sick) and find the tracking email from Eastbay. I will check the track of my package 3 times a day at least. "Oh, I know that the package left Indiana yesterday, surely it will be to Texas today, right?"

For my birthday, this was particularly problematic. I had several things that I wanted to shop online for. Armed with my bday cash, I went to freaking town. (BTW, I heartily endorse the following products. They are all more than SHFP worthy. Seriously, you should buy them.) New 320 GB harddrive for my MacBook? Cheap and Check. New, RIDICULOUSLY HOTT Nike Basketball shoes? Wes and Luke Friesen bought the same ones, Check, and triple Check.

I have never acted more completely ridiculously than while waiting for these two packages to arrive. It was completely absurd. I have since apologized to my wife. Yep, it was bad.

Haha. While repeatedly tracking my Eastbay shipment for my basketball shoes, I see that they have arrived in Conroe on a Saturday. This is awesome. This means that the next business day (Monday), I will see those magical words, "OUT FOR DELIVERY". The next day, I dutifully, triply check my tracking number only to find that they have been passed off to the Post Office for final delivery. What kind of awful joke is this, UPS??????? The US POST OFFICE? They stink so bad they can't even make a profit with a monopoly on our mailboxes and you give my prized basketball shoes to them for final delivery? What in God's name are you thinking???

I had a minor near meltdown, and the shoes showed up on Tuesday. Like I said, I apologized to my wife for my frantic and completely pathetic emotional state.

Will I change my online shopping ways? Absolutely not. Will it likely provide me with more fodder for random blog posts? Absolutely.

3. I rear-ended a woman on Belt-way 8 doing 35 miles an hour. It was awful. No one was hurt. Her truck was totaled an mine ends up with cosmetic damage (I guess we can still say something for good ol' GMC, right?). Not quite sure how that happened, but apparently two car lengths isn't enough space to check your blindspot with how fast Houstonians can slam on their breaks. Such is life, and this is how we learn our lessons. Thank God for comprehensive insurance and for keeping everyone safe.

I sat there on the side of the road with my overactive sense of irresponsibility, trying to keep from getting pissed off at myself, and asked the Lord why He let this happen. I felt Him gently speak to me and let me know that it was ok, and that He wanted to reveal Himself to me as My Provider in a new and deeper way. I'm excited to see Him do this and thankful for His comforting voice in times like that. I'll keep you posted on my poor truck, Duke, and the facelift that he's getting.

4. Costco has changed our lives. Jess and her mom joined this month, and it is one of the best things ever. Not only do they sell tons of incredible organic snack food and fruit, but they also sell Lucky Jeans for $37. Cue awesomeness and go join Costco.

Explosion is over. I feel better now. I am off to watch Clash of the Titans with the all the brothers today. I cannot wait to see it. You see, I watched the original one time while sick as a middle-schooler. I thought it was awesome then. I cannot wait to see the new one with CGI awesomeness.

Also, the first crawfish boil of the year is today at the Jordan's house. I love crawfish.

I am going to quit blogging now. Too many exciting things exploding into cyberspace. I want to stop before this man blows up too.

With (obvious?) excitement,
Mr. Hill

Freedom: It is an American thing

2010-03-25T14:11:00.000-05:00

Occasionally Chris and I get a little political on this blog.

Every day I argue with myself as to how political or opinionated I actually want to be on this blog. Why? Because I absolutely love the blogs I read that are light and airy and take me away from the problems and burdens of this world. I love that there are people out there who talk about cooking, fashion, meal planning, photography, kiddos, puppies, and whatever else. In fact I desperately need those people because my natural habitation is to always go too deep and serious.

But, I figure God created me this way so he must have some purpose in it.

Chris and I are definitely what you might call catalysts. You come to dinner at our house and you will get no gray. You will get either black or white, and if you are in question about which one you are we will probably tell you if you ask us. And if Chris is not watching carefully enough I might just slip in and tell you anyways. I am working on this.

We are catalyst because we know what we believe and stand strongly on that. We are most definitely wrong at times and both us always want to change quickly if we are. As of today I have decided to longer try to hold my opinionated, religious, and political thoughts captive from the blog. It is my voice and who am I to change it? Especially when I hold it up to God and He just strengthens it.

There are a lot of things I want to say about healthcare, small business, education, and the general atmosphere of this country. If I did I would probably offend a lot of you, even some of our most dear and trusted friends. Today I am not going to ramble on about anger and rights and all that. I am going to direct you to an article on American Thinker.

But I will say this: It is NOT about healthcare it IS about FREEDOM.

(If you possible can read to the end, if you cannot at least read the bolded paragraph at the bottom)

Secularism's Ongoing Debt to Christianity

By John D. Steinrucken

Rational thought may provide better answers to many of life's riddles than does faith alone. However, it is rational to conclude that religious faith has made possible the advancement of Western civilization. That is, the glue that has held Western civilization together over the centuries is the Judeo-Christian tradition. To the extent that the West loses its religious faith in favor of non-judgmental secularism, then to the same extent, it loses that which holds all else together.

Succinctly put: Western civilization's survival, including the survival of open secular thought, depends on the continuance within our society of the Judeo-Christian tradition.

Arguably the two most defining and influential Christian concepts are summarized in two verses of the New Testament. Those verses are Romans 14:10 and John 8:32.

Romans 14:10, says: "Remember, each of us must stand alone before the judgment seat of God." That verse explicitly recognizes not only each man's uniqueness, but, of necessity, implies that man has free will -- that individual acts do result in consequences, and that those acts will be judged against objective standards. It is but a step from the habit of accepting individual accountability before God to thinking of individual accountability in secular things. It thus follows that personal and political freedom is premised upon the Christian concept of the unique individual exercising accountable free will.

John 8:32 says: "And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." Whatever the theological meanings that have been imputed to that verse, its implicit secular meaning is that the search for truth is in and of itself praiseworthy.

Although I am a secularist (atheist, if you will), I accept that the great majority of people would be morally and spiritually lost without religion. Can anyone seriously argue that crime and debauchery are not held in check by religion? Is it not comforting to live in a community where the rule of law and fairness are respected? Would such be likely if Christianity were not there to provide a moral compass to the great majority? Do we secularists not benefit out of all proportion from a morally responsible society?

An orderly society is dependent on a generally accepted morality. There can be no such morality without religion. Has there ever been a more perfect and concise moral code than the one Moses brought down from the mountain?

Those who doubt the effect of religion on morality should seriously ask the question: Just what are the immutable moral laws of secularism? Be prepared to answer, if you are honest, that such laws simply do not exist! The best answer we can ever hear from secularists to this question is a hodgepodge of strained relativist talk of situational ethics. They can cite no overriding authority other than that of fashion. For the great majority in the West, it is the Judeo-Christian tradition which offers a template assuring a life of inner peace toward the world at large -- a peace which translates to a workable liberal society.

A few years ago, I saw on television the interview of a reforming prostitute and drug addict. When asked why she had chosen to reform, her simple answer was, "I don't want to go to Hell." I am sure that she had previously received hours of counseling from secular social workers, all without discernible effect. What did it for her was the simplicity of a belief in Heaven and Hell, and with knowing that one day, she would stand alone before her God to be judged.

For the majority of a culture's population, religious tradition is inextricably woven into their self-awareness. It gives them their identity. It is why those of religious faith are more socially stable and experience less difficulty in forming and maintaining binding attachments than do we secularists.

Most men do have a need for God. This, I think, is proven by the desperation with which so many of those who have forsaken the God of their fathers (it has been fashionable to do so) are now reaching for meaning in eastern exotica, new-age mumbo-jumbo, and other attempts to fill the spiritual hole.

Or they surrender themselves to secular ideologies or do-good causes, especially those in which they can mass with others in solidarity, shouting in unison mindless, ritualistic simplicities and waving placards of hackneyed and inane slogans.

Secularism has never offered the people a practical substitute for religion. From the time of the philosophes with their certainties in 1789, the rationally thought-through utopias of those who think themselves the elite of the world, when actually put to the test, have not merely come to naught. Attempts during those two centuries to put into practice utopian visions have caused huge sufferings. But they, the clever ones, never look back. In their conceit, they delude themselves that next time they are sure to get it right. They create justifications for their fantasies by rewriting the histories.

We secularists should recognize that we owe much to the religionists, that we are not threatened by them, that we should grant to them their world. Why should we be exercised over a Christmas Crèche in front of the county court house? It is appropriately symbolic of Christianity's benign but essential role as guarantor of our political and legal systems -- that is, of a moral force independent of and transcendent to the political. And what harm will come to a child who hears prayer in the schoolroom? I daresay harm is far more likely to come in those places where prayer is not heard.

The fact is, we secularists gain much from living in a world in which excesses are held in check by religion. Religion gives society a secure and orderly environment within which we secularists can safely play out our creativities. Free and creative secularism seems to me to function best when within the stable milieu provided by Christianity.

To the extent that Western elites distance themselves from their Judeo-Christian cultural heritage in favor of secular constructs, and as they give deference to a multicultural acceptance that all beliefs are of equal validity, they lose their will to defend against a determined attack from another culture, such as from militant Islam. For having destroyed the ancient faith of their people, they will have found themselves with nothing to defend. For the culture above which they had fancied themselves to have risen, the culture which had given them their material sustenance, will by then have become but a hollow shell.

An elite must, by definition, have a much larger base upon which to stand. For Western civilization, that base has over the centuries been the great mass of commoners who have looked to Christianity for their moral guidance and for strength to weather adversity. The elitists delude themselves if they think the common people will look to them for guidance once their religious beliefs have been eroded away.

The greatest crime of the elitists -- if they have their way -- will be their failure to use their gifts of intellect to lead and to preserve. Their sin will be the abandonment of that ninety percent of the population which had provided them with the secure societal and material wherewithal for practicing their conceits and dilettantes.

If the elitists of our Western civilization want to survive, then it is incumbent upon them to see to the preservation of the hoary, time-honored faith of the great majority of the people. This means that our elitists should see that their most valued vested interest is the preservation within our culture of Christianity and Judaism. It is not critical that they themselves believe, only that they should publicly hold in high esteem the institutions of Christianity and Judaism, and to respect those who do believe and to encourage and to give leeway to those who, in truth, will be foremost in the trenches defending us against those who would have us all bow down to a different and unaccommodating faith.

end of article

My friends it is time for everyone to join the American side. All radical differences aside it is the liberty and freedom our forefathers fought for that ALLOWS us to be different, to argue, and to debate. We are not fighting so that we can all be the same, we are fighting so that WE THE PEOPLE have the option to be different. Isn't that what leftist and liberals always said they wanted? Unfortunately the policies they are enacting suggest something entirely different.

Life as a neutral American citizen has ended. Now we must all decide if we are black or white. There are only two sides. There always has been only two.

Which one are you on?

Wind Swept Ears

2010-03-04T13:25:00.000-06:00

photo credit to Randy and Ellen Olive

Working Puppies

2010-03-03T12:35:00.000-06:00

Giada comes to work with me.

It is awesome because usually she sleeps all day and keeps my feet warm. Occasionally she even attends meetings with her Big Boss Papa Rusty, so she can keep an eye on all the local oil men.

Then there are the days when Giada wants to play and does not want me to work. On these days she will put her head through the arm of my chair and rest it on my lap.

Look at those big eyes! "Mom will you please stop working and play with me?"

Today is one of those days, and it is only 12:30!

Satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land...

2010-03-02T14:15:00.000-06:00

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the opressed free and break every yoke?

It is not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wonderer
with shelter - when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from
your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly
appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord
will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will
say: Here I am. If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing
finger and malicous talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the need of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a
sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like
a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

Isaiah 58:6-11

Yummy Fire, Valentines Concerts, Etc.

2010-02-28T19:56:00.000-06:00

So our dear friend, Julie Prothro, is quite the Photographer. She has this wonderful term that she coined a while back for when the lighting conditions are just perfect in God's glorious creation.

She calls it "yummy light" (Great pic of her hubby, Evan, there btw. I wish I could look that cool in Aviators. I would likely never take them off though).

"Yummy light" as she says, "is never to be wasted".

I would like to think of myself as quite the Grill Master. Jess and I have been on quite the grilling tear lately - beef, chicken, pork no meat is safe.

One night in particular this month, I was reminded of Julie's "yummy light" term as I stared into my coals. I have decided to coin my own term. I present you with "yummy fire"...

The Coals glow so perfectly. After we had grilled everything for the evening, I found myself upset that I had to close the grill for the evening.

Yummy fire puts the temp gauge right at 325.

I absolutely love my gril. (Coincidentally, it got a real workout this weekend at my bday party. Everything from quail, pheasant, sausage, steak and shark...yes, shark...met up with some yummy fire.)

Valentines day was absolutely incredible. Lots of story there, but I'll let you off with two pictures from the concert we went to. Max Stalling is a Fightin' Texas Aggie who has been singing country music for quite some time. I love his music, and Jess and I had a hell of a time dancing to it with the Wilcox's and Lingwall's (who happen to be friends with Max).

The concert was at the Son's of Hermann Hall in Dallas. If you have never been to a concert there, you should definitely go. One of the best venues I have ever gotten to go to.

Max and the band. I love a good stand up base.

So here's the "Etc." Believe it or not, this owl was sitting on the hood of a Lexus in front of the Starbucks at Town and Country mall. Believe it.

It freaked me out. I walked up to my truck, and there the owl was on the car next to me. Kind of bizarre.

I turned 25 today. I am thankful to be alive, to have friends like I saw this weekend, to be married to my wife, and to be saved by my Jesus.

This month has been wonderful. The last year was the best of my life, and I expect the next 25 to be more fun than the first.

Cheers.

Mr. Hill

P.S. -

"Your marriage will not survive unless the reason that you are together is greater than the pressure that you are under." - Jimmy Evans

Value

2010-02-25T12:37:00.002-06:00

Unlike the Value menu at McDonalds how much value you think you have is in fact invaluable.

You are worth so much more than one dollar.

Have you ever thought, "Man, I wish that person would just realize how much I have to give?" While at the same time subconsciously thinking, "So that I could in return also know how much I have to give."

Beth Moore has recently published a book called So Long Insecurity and on page 173 she said something that made lots of things connect together which changed me.

She said, "Help me to stop using a person as my mirror and start seeing myself as you [God] alone see me."

Suddenly I realized when you depend on a person, a success, a job, or even family members to determine how you see yourself, how you value yourself, or even how secure you are then the reflection you will see will be extremely poor. It would be like saying that you are looking at a rainbow and only seeing one color. People, jobs, and family are all imperfect. Unfortunately they cannot always see all of who God made you to be, and even if they do at certain times they cannot be depended on to give you a constant good report.

When Beth said to stop using people as a mirror to determine who you are I got this mental picture of me standing in front of someone with a mirror between us. The mirror reflected to me how the other person saw me. The mirror was dirty, damaged, and imperfect because the person did not have good enough sight to truly tell me who I am. Jesus whispered in my ear that he wanted to be my mirror and consistently and constantly give me His reflection. In one moment it was like Jesus plugged the power cord of who I am into the energy outlet. My screen lit up and started running smoothly like a brand new Macbook pro. My faulty processor had been switched for a new shiny one that will never be outdated.

This was something that I always knew in my head and often tried to apply. There have been times in my life where I have applied this knowledge very well, but it was not until recently did this knowledge reach my heart.

This does not mean that people, jobs, and family (or anything else) cannot hurt you, encourage you, or point you in an awesome direction. It just means that you can be stable, secure and completely you in Christ Jesus.

When good things happen it is good to share them with your friends, and that is why I am sharing this with you now. Especially in girl world where we all compare ourselves to each other and determine value by each other’s reaction, it is very important for us to realize that really it is Jesus who gives us value. We do not have to search out someone or something else to do that for us anymore. You could be the most amazing Christian in the world and still struggle in this area. So, have no shame! Give it all up to Jesus.

All of us girls need to be on the same team anyways :)

:::Something is New:::

2010-02-24T05:33:00.001-06:00

Good morning everyone,

Welcome to the new Top of the Hills blog designed by Marina of Penny Lane Designs. She is awesome and great to work with! I highly reccommend her for any design project!

I actually found her on the internet about a year and 8 months ago when I first discovered the world of blogging, and we just now decided that we needed our very own design!

I feel like there is a lot to share with y'all since we have not blogged in awhile, so you might get several posts today!

Yesterday was a big day out here in the barn. It snowed from about 4:30 until 7:30 last night, and from 4:30-5:30 the snowflakes were about the size of quarters. It was almost like big snowballs were just falling out of the sky. Giada was going crazy running around like a cheetah and eat snowflakes out of the air.

During my lunch break yesterday I went in to our local Tuesday Morning out here in Tomball, it is conventiently located behind our Pawn Shop. While I was shopping I ventured down the cookware isle and out of the corner of my eye I saw a Le Creuset box and nearly fell over backwards.

I have been wanting one of these enameled cast iron pots for months. So much so that I have entered contests on blogs to see if I can win one, and I even bought a fake one at Sam's for twenty bucks that we fondly call our Le Members Mark.

Back to me nearly falling over backwards in Tuesday Morning -- they had about ten pots of various sizes sitting right there on the self. I took a quick peek at the prices and my heart skipped several beats. They were more than half off -- which is AWESOME because they are SUPER expensive. But I did not buy one.

Instead I went back to the office and instant messeged Chris on the computer to tell him about my find. At which point he, knowing how much I have wanted one of these things, instantly instructed me to go back to the store and get one. SO I DID AND I WAS SO EXCITED

I realize this may be super boring to you, but it was like getting super bowl tickets for me. It will probably be super boring for you until I cook you something in it, and then you will have to tell me how awesome it is. :)

Then when we left work my Mom went to Tuesday Mornings and got one too, and the lady told us that the pots have been sitting there since November. NOVEMBER. No one knows what they are in Tomball. For this I was glad.

Well I am off to go fix Chris his breakfast and walk him out to the car. Hope y'all have an awesome day!

:::LOVE:::

2010-02-12T13:39:00.000-06:00

It is the time to celebrate love.

My love [Mr. Hill] is taking me to Bryan, TX tonight to stay in the La Salle Hotel and to eat at Cafe Exccel. Yum. Voodoo Salmon. Then we are heading to Dallas for a myriad of events :)

I am beyond excited.

I am more in love with my husband every day. Living life with him makes every day exciting. Living life with him makes laundry, dishes, and grocery shopping exciting. I love that he is big and I am small. I love that I will always be able to fit in his lap. I love that his lap is big enough that one day when we have kiddos the whole family will be able to fit in his lap.

Out of inspiration from the Pioneer Woman I am going to list out some things and people that I love:

My big strong manly good lookin husband
Freshly ground coffee in the mornings
Pizza - all kinds
Jeans
Massive high heel shoes
Rusk products
Chi products
MAC products
Apple products
Anthropologie
Mexican food - Escalantes, Guadelajara, Pappasitos
Shaina Bear
My Giada puppy
Giada on TV
Austin Stone / Lime Stone / Any other kind of lime stone
Todd and Karra -- my second parents and Chris's real ones
The pandora ring they got me for Christmas
Their puppy Thunder
Heritage and Lightning
Luke and Mikala
Cilantro
My kitchen aid food processor
My cast iron skillet
All of my dishes
Silv Dawg
The LSM
Julie Prothro
Chick Fil A
Diet Dr Pepper
Kashi Products
Homemade salsa
Beth Moore
Lisa Bevere
Books of all kinda
Live Inspired Journals
My Vera Bradely computer case
Living in the Barn
My parents
My mom borrowing things from my kitchen
Jeremy and Evan
The fact that Chris loves my cooking
Wes and Sheridan
Randy and Ellen
Kelley and Adam and their puppy Jaida
Lauren and Jason
Yao Mings Restaurant
Antique shopping in Tomball
The Shred by Jillian Michaels
Grilling Chicken
Grilled Meats
BBQ Ribs -- the making of BBQ Ribs
My pink nike cup
Adobe Software ---- I am learning
Green Salsa
Need To Breathe
Francine Rivers

These are a few of my favorite things.

Teenagers

2010-02-04T09:57:00.000-06:00

My parents went to Colorado Springs this week on business and for ministry purposes.

They also got to eat dinner with my best friend Shaina Bear Landry and her husband Bobby who both live and work in Colorado. I was very jealous. I still am jealous.

This week I got the "honor" of feeding my two teenage brothers for the week. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Please note "feeding" was my one responsibility. Not caring, talking, loving, engaging, hanging, or any other type of interaction that might happen in a relationship.

Since we live in the barn it was really not too inconvenient for any of us. I just had to go over to the big house in the morning to make their breakfasts and lunches. In the evenings they just had to walk over to the barn for dinner.

I had to undergo rigorous sandwich training with my Mom, so that their sandwiches could be made to perfection as if Mom had actually made them. I also had to remember exactly which chips, candy, fruit, and beef jerky went in each lunch. As well as remember what each one eats for breakfast in the morning.

It was this week where I remembered how cool teenagers are. NOT. How nice and friendly and talkative they are. NOT. How appreciative and sweet they are. NOT.

I cannot wait to have lots of teenagers running around in my house one day!

( I will give Jeremy some props for always saying thank you and always putting his dishes away ).

Want. Need. Love

2010-02-03T09:06:00.000-06:00

I loved my wedding dress. I still love my wedding dress. But - if for some reason wedding dresses came into style to wear at occasions other than weddings - I want this wedding dress.

I found it on Jasmine Star's blog. So many pretty things.

So last night I made Cuban Braised Skirt steak. The first time I made Cuban Braised Skirt steak I used Diamond H beef --- Chris's parents cow from their very own ranch. It was so tender and the flavor was so good. Last night we used Sam's skirt steak from some unknown place. It was tough and bland. It was sad. Todd (Chris's Dad) has ruined me. I must have Braunveih. Five star tenderness Braunveigh that has been raised with love and care on Texas grass. Again, I am ruined - how can I go back?

Wedding dresses and lovingly raised beefs. It's whats on my mind. It's whats for dinner.

SWWM - that looks good in a bikini

2010-02-02T10:47:00.002-06:00

My friend Julie Prothro sent an email out to all of us Lone Star Marina girls last fall asking about what we thought about mentorship. Basically wondering how does the best mentor / mentor relationship come about. Which is an awesome question, but not what this blog is about today.

It was during this email exchange that I came up with a description of the kind of woman that I want to be.

Super Woman Wifie Mama - that looks good in a bikini

It seems to me that as we women grow older our responsibilities seem to grow as well as the expectations we put on on our selves to master these responsibilities. The Proverbs 31 woman is quiet daunting and accomplishes so much in her day, yet Proverbs is not clear on how one arrives at such achievement.

Thankfully I have several great examples of awesome women in my life: my mom, my nana, my mimi, and my great granny Ima. All of whom taught me how to cook and serve and love. They all love and serve in different ways, each of them being highly necessary. My Mom especially showed me what is means to be selfless and to look to satisfy the needs of others before my own. Because of all these women I came into marriage knowing exactly how to care for my man, and for this I am so grateful.

Yet, it was not until I got married that I really began to understand what it means to be a truly awesome Godly woman. Please understand that I believe this understanding is not general and cannot be applied to all women. It is unique and specific to what you feel God has called you too, and what you want to be and accomplish. As I write the next part of this blog do not heap guilt upon yourself if this completely describes the opposite of you. This describes me and what I feel I am called to. God made you to be you - and not me.

SO - I continue -

It was not until I was married did I truly understand what was called of me. All of the sudden I had so many things to juggle:

1. Spending time with Jesus so that I could actually be sane
2. Spending time with my husband and loving him
3. Meal planning, cooking, grocery shopping - OH MY - and saving money
4. Laundry
5. Cleaning
6. Social Obligations / maintaining contact with the outside world, and fostering good relationships with people that add to your life and you add to theirs.
7. Going to church and being social
8. Career -- UHHHH HELLO this takes 40 + hours a week of your womanly time
9. Working out
10. Christmas shopping / Birthday shopping / Remembering to give the presents you actually bought
11. Knowing what your husband is allergic to
12. Decorating
13. General organization
14. Remembering to feed the puppy
15. Building relationships with both sets of parents and siblings.

16. LOOKING GOOD IN A BIKINI while wearing platform heals

Ok - I don't know about you, but juggling all these things and maintaining balance is hard. Some of you out there may have all this down. Some of you, like me, may be desperately searching for answers.

My answer: The secret to being a SWWM - who looks good in a bikini is DISCIPLINE

SO:

I have found there are two types of people in the world:
1. People who have clean houses
2. People who don't

These two groups of people struggle with discipline in two entirely different ways.

Group 1: Clean house people are very busy type A people. They create to do lists and check them off. These people have to discipline themselves to balance their to do list to make sure they prioritize the people in their life before their to dos. Basically - they have make sure they are building good relationships.

Group 2: Non clean house people focus all on relationships and not enough on their to dos. These peoples lives can become unorganized quickly thus stressing out their loved ones. They must discipline themselves to balance their relationship time so that they get their to dos done. [ I fall into this category ]

It all comes down to how you are wired. Every single one of us is different and really cannot be categorized into two groups. But every single one of us must choose between what we always WANT to do and what is GOOD and NECESSARY for us to do. As a wife I have become to realize that if I want to be the wife and future Mom that I know my husband and family deserves it is going to take a lot of self sacrifice on my part.

Examples:

1. I want to provide healthy meals. YET - this takes an amazing amount of planning and time. You must look at recipes, make lists, plan, go to the store. This happens EVERY SINGLE week - whether you feel like it, whether you have time, whether you have decided that eating is for losers and no one should ever do it again. You HAVE to go to the grocery store.

2. Have an awesome relationship with my hubby. Sometimes this means that I have to get off the couch and engage in conversation with him. Sometimes this means that I cannot read books for 5 hours once I get home. Sometimes this means that I sacrifice what I WANT to do for what he WANTS to do. Usually this means that I get up way too early in the morning to make him breakfast and lunch - because I love him, and for no other reason than I want to bless him.

3. I want to have a clean house. This requires me to watch less TV, read less, and walk around aimlessly less. This is an area that I struggle in and I am discipling myself to be better at.

4. My time with Jesus is extremely important for me so that I am not: grouchy, cranky, rude, anti-social, and irrational. I have to get up early in the morning so that I can get in some time alone. I sacrifice sleep.

5. LOOK GOOD IN A BIKINI: So it is not really about just looking good in a bikini (even though that is awesome) -- it is about having enough energy to do all things life requires of you. It is about looking good for the hubby, for yourself, and so that when you are 45 you are still able to train your football playing sons during the summer - or keep up with your 2 yr. old toddler. This is another area [working out consistently] where I struggle -- and am having to discipline myself --- this is the area where accountability is key for me -- and my friend Julie Prothro has stepped up to the plate. Thank you Julie. I sacrifice whatever else I would rather be doing than working out.

6. Career and Family Provision: In this time and age it is important for both wife and husband to contribute to the family income. It is been a big learning curve for me to learn how to manage my work responsibilities and my home responsibilities. Again, this is area where people differ in how they struggle. I am much more domestically in-tune, so I have to make sure I am giving work an equal part of myself.
- This is also an area where I feel like God is completely re-working me. Because of that I really can only see today - as in I have no idea what the future looks like, but I know God is doing something. This is another area where I am seeking and asking the Lord to show me what this looks like - done well. Ya know - one day we will have babies, and the work thing is some how going to have to adapt to that era of my life. God knows what he will do. If we could somehow master the Mom works at home thing and still is a productive person in society - that would be awesome. :)

UPDATE: my friend leah makes a good point - Moms are essential to society and that alone is a massive honor.

Work + Family: I want to learn how to balance and manage this well. We are in a new time and I believe God can gives us new ways to do things.

7. Spending time with awesome girls who add to your life and understand you. Sometimes this requires you to sacrifice a little of that treasure hubby time --- but if he is a good hubby he will understand. Plus that hubby of yours needs to spend time with his boys too.

I will end here. :) Being a SWWM - that looks good in a bikini requires discipline, self-sacrifice, and balance. AND A WHOLE LOT OF LEARNING - and probably a whole lot of mentorship.